Use Spoon Comic Strips - Page 53
611 Results for Use Spoon
View 521 - 530 results for use spoon comic strips. Discover the best "Use Spoon" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share January 05, 1994's comic on:
The Boss: We're flattening the organization to eliminate levels and put everybody in a wide salary band. Now instead of not getting a promotion. you'll only not get a raise, wally: So what job title do we use? The Boss: You'll all be named Beverly.
Share December 13, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a conference table with Stan and a customer. Stan says, "And our product has a thirty terabit RAM cache, just like your company needs. Tell him, Dilbert." Dilbert says, "It has no RAM." Stan continues, "And it's capable of detecting tachion field emissions." Dilbert says, "You're confusing use with 'Star Trek' again, Stan." Stan continues, "We'll build that stuff into the next free upgrade." The customer replies, "We'll take it!" Dilbert thinks, "Beam me up, Spock. There's no life on this planet."
Share November 20, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert says to the garbage man, "Thanks for letting me borrow your phaser. I recharged the batteries." The garbage man says, "I hope you didn't use it in anger." Dogbert replies, "No, I was laughing most of the time. And I probably won't stop wagging until Tuesday." The garbage man says, "Good."
Share November 11, 1993's comic on:
The instructor asks, "Who will be first to brave the hot coals?" Dilbert, Alice and Wally stand together. The man pulls Wally out of the crowd and says, "You will teach the others by example." The instructor says as there is an explosion in the background, "Now, what you learn from Wally's example is: don't use alcohol-based after-shave."
Share October 23, 1993's comic on:
Wally says to Dilbert, "Hee hee! How many blondes does it take to change a tire?" Dilbert asks, "One?" Wally says, "No, thirty-seven to lift the car and one to pin the diaper on the tire!!" Wally laughs. Dilbert asks, "Couldn't they just use the jack?" Wally replies, "I wondered about that too."
Share October 05, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert walks down the hall thinking, "Ha! My technique of being loud is working. I got a job and a raise in one day. Now I need an office." Dogbert shouts at a man, "Hey! I want your office now!!" Dogbert stands on the desk watching the man pack his things. Dogbert yells, "Wait . . . I might be able to use the frame for something!!"
Share August 19, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert, who is wearing a sorcerer's hat, tells the Boss, "I'll use my powers to read the minds of your employees and get ideas for improving morale." Dogbert says, "Hmm . . . All they care about is romance, ski trips and 'Star Trek.'" The Boss asks, "How about if we give the high performers little key chains with the company logo?" Dogbert says, "I'm getting a blank from this direction."
Share July 28, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert asks Dogbert, ". . . So I thought you might use some of your newly won millions to fund my 'Bioworld' science experiment." Dilbert shows Dogbert an illustration and explains, "It's a complete ecology enclosed in an airtight dome. The survival of the volunteers would depend on my foresight and engineering skills." Dilbert says, "Gee, I thought it would be harder to talk you into it." Dogbert says as he writes a check, "I get to pick the volunteers myself."
Share July 20, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert says to a group of rags, "I'll be representing you corporate employees in a class action suit. Your company has sucked the life force out of you and turned you into little rags." Dogbert continues, "My fee will be on a contingency basis. That means I get the entire settlement plus I'll use you to wax my BMW." One rag replies, "Sounds fair." Another thinks, "Don't make waves." Dogbert thinks, "I've found the perfect clients."
Share June 23, 1993's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "As you know, all projects are assigned acronyms. Unfortunately, all the good ones have been used." The Boss says, "Any new project will have to use an acronym from this short list of somewhat less desirable choices." Dilbert asks, "What should I call my new project?" The Boss replies, "Well, you could use 'PHLEGM' or 'PLACENTA.'"