Asok Comic Strips - Page 53
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Character
964 Results for Asok
View 521 - 530 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 11,
2013
Tags honesty, managers & supervisors, secret of success, plan b, two hairballs, business
Transcript
Boss: Asok, the secret to success is making your boss look good. Asok: What if my boss looks like two hairballs on an infected bladder? There's no way to make that look good. Boss: You're not off to a strong start. Asok: Please tell me there's a Plan B.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday June 12,
2013
Tags frustration, hypocrisy, managers & supervisors, shut out, meetings, unsolvable, business
Transcript
Boss: Asok, I can't promote you because the other managers don't know you. Asok: That's because you shut me out of meetings and take credit for my work. Boss: That sounds unsolvable.
Wednesday August 07,
2013
Tags apathy, children & adults, genetic makeup, success, upbringing, warm thermos, curious type, mother, coffee, Family
Transcript
Asok: Do you think success is mostly a function of your genetic makeup or your upbringing? Wally: My mom raised me by putting a warm thermos of coffee in my crib and going out for the day. And I turned out great. Asok: I have no follow-up questions, in case you wondered. Wally: I'm not the curious type.
Monday September 02,
2013
Tags fantasy, money, shrubs, budget estimates, spreadhseet, ipad, plant growing, well fertilized
Transcript
Asok: I put your budget estimates into a spreadsheet as you asked. A well-fertilized shrub sprouted out of my iPad. What does this mean? Boss: That's how you know the budget is done.
Saturday September 28,
2013
Tags inventions, mad scientists, marketing dept, mice, one evil genius, pathways, rewire, ontogenetic technology
Transcript
Boss: We replaced our entire marketing department with one evil genius. Evil Genius: My optogenic* technology can re-wire the neural pathways of our customers and change their preferences. You like gray. Asok: I like to be gay. *Already works on mice.
Monday September 30,
2013
Tags dairy products, inventions, mad scientists, gay anarchist, loves football, string cheese
Transcript
Dilbert: I heard that marketing's optogenic device tweaked some of your preferences. Asok: Yup. Now I'm a gay anarchist who loves football and string cheese. Dilbert: Sounds like a big adjustment. Asok: Well, the cheese part came easily.
Monday December 09,
2013
Tags executives, snobbishness, random subordinate, own boats, touch people, ceo.meeting, rich, porr
Transcript
CEO: Hello, random subordinate that I am seeing in the hallway! I'm your CEO, but I'm still like a regular person. Asok: My name is Asok. CEO: I only touch people who own boats.
Monday December 23,
2013
Tags anger, optimism, positive influences, bad energy
Transcript
Asok: Experts say I should surround myself with people who are positive influences. Alice: I'M ON A CALL! Asok: I think I absorbed some bad energy. Wally: Go away before you bum me out.
Monday January 20,
2014
Tags irony, managers & supervisors, work ethic, manipulated, management fads, engaged, motivated, business
Transcript
Asok: Happy Monday! Thanks to your slavish pursuit of management fads, I feel engaged and motivated! Boss: It's sort of creepy. Asok: I love being manipulated!
Sunday January 05,
2014
Tags happiness, new philosophy, live for today, motto, avoid starving tomorrow, ruin every minute, living in past, gustave, traded beaver pelts, psychology
Transcript
Asok: I'm trying out a new philosophy for my life. My new motto is "Live for Today." Wally: If you live for today, how will you avoid starving tomorrow? If you do one little thing wrong today, it could ruin every minute of the rest of your life. Asok: So... I should live for the future. Wally: No, that would ruin today. I recommend living for the past. Asok: My past was no fun. Wally: Pretend you were someone else. Asok: My philosophy is that my name was Gustav and I traded beaver pelts. Dilbert: Stop ruining my present.

