Knowing Too Much Comic Strips - Page 53
Search Filters
Year
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
540 Results for Knowing Too Much
View 521 - 530 results for knowing too much comic strips. Discover the best "Knowing Too Much" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 07,
2020
Court Of Stupidity
Tags #business, #legal, #court, #lawyer, #stupidity, #appeal, #bailiff
Transcript
dilbert at table with dogbert: my boss is accusing me o not knowing what he was thinking. i need you to be my lawyer and handle my appeal to the court of stupidity. court of stupidity the court rules in favor of the bailiff.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday February 02,
2020
Knowing What Wally Does
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #performance, #review, #job, #projects, #expectations, #heuristics
Transcript
boss: i can't give you a good performance review because you haven't performed up to expectations. wally: do you even know what my job is? boss: of course i do. you're an engineer. wally: yes, but do you know what projects i'm working on? boss: well, various things, and some miscellaneous things too. wally: how can you determine my job performance when you don't know what my job is? boss: have you heard of heuristics? you're bad at everything i've observed, so i assume you are bad at everything else as well. wally: you should have started with that.
Thursday February 06,
2020
Slide Deck Too Well Designed
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #tasks, #well-designed
Transcript
boss: your slide deck is too well-designed. it suggests you spend too much time on things that are not important. asok: you don't give me important tasks. boss: that's no excuse for good design.
Thursday February 20,
2020
What Is The Bra
Tags #office workers, #business, #risk, #assessment, #mock, #teamwork, #acronym
Transcript
office worker: what's the b.r.a. on that? dilbert: jus? office worker: you look dumb in front of everyone for not knowing b.r.a. stands for business risk assessment. we'll probably mock you behind your back. dilbert talking to the boss: i don't think your teamwork exercises are working.
Saturday March 28,
2020
Ted Talks Creates A God
Tags #business, #technology, #mental, #midget, #ted talks, #binge-watching, #god, #dumb, #all knowing
Transcript
new hire: i must leave you mental midgets behind as i go start up my own company. i was once dumb like all of you. then i started binge-watching ted talks, and i evolved. dilbert: what are you now? new hire: some kind of god, i assume.
Sunday May 31,
2020
One Source Of Stress
Tags #business, #work at home, #human, #contact, #stress, #co-workers, #bored, #print, #money
Transcript
dilbert thinking: i've had no human contact for months. i wasn't expecting to enjoy it so much. my love life was already a barren wasteland. and avoiding my co-workers is always good. i haven't been stressed, tired, or bored in weeks. i only have one remaining source of stress in my life. dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert dogbert: i'm printing money in the basement. dilbert: there it is.
Sunday June 21,
2020
Two Bad Options
Tags #big business, #business, #business ethics, #business failures/bankruptcies, #hide, #managers & supervisors, #options, #analysis, #corporate
Transcript
Dilbert: I analyzed our only two options. One option costs too much, and the other option is impossible. Boss: Let's do the impossible one. Dilbert: Perhaps you can explain your reasoning. Boss: According to you, we will fail either way. But if we fail in a slow and inexpensive way, no one will even notice for months. With any luck, we'll have a corporate reorganization that forever hides our gross incompetence. Dilbert: Have you done this before? Boss: Every six months.
Monday June 01,
2020
Wally Has Symptoms
Tags #lie, #office workers, #sickness, #pandemic, #virus
Transcript
Wally: My throat has a tickle, so I'd better take a month off of work. The coronavirus tests can have some false negatives, and I love you too much to put you at risk. Dilbert: Did it work? Wally: No, I sold it too hard.
Tuesday September 01,
2020
Wally Will Look Into It
Tags #business, #office workers, #help, #forget, #note, #procrastination, #sarcasm, #surprise
Transcript
tina: ...so, maybe you can help? wally: i'll look into it. tina: perhaps you could write yourself a little note so you don't forget. wally: nah. tina: should i abandon all hope now or wait? wally: depends how much you like surprises.
Monday September 14,
2020
Survivor Guilt
Tags #coronavirus, #managers & supervisors, #business, #double, #income, #pandemic, #covid, #survivor guilt, #sympathy, #face mask
Transcript
ceo: well, i personally doubled my income during the pandemic. now i have a bad case of survivor guilt. dilbert: do you expect to get much sympathy for that? ceo: i won't know until i try.