Prefer To Call Comic Strips - Page 53

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530 Results for Prefer To Call

View 521 - 530 results for prefer to call comic strips. Discover the best "Prefer To Call" comics from Dilbert.com.

Elbonian Spy

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Elbonian Spy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #elbonian, #spy, #engineers, #economy, #intellectual, #property, #collaborate

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boss: i hired an elbonian spy who, i assume, will try to steal our intellectual property. it's hard to find good engineers in this economy, so that is a risk i am willing to take. dilbert, i'd like you to collaborate with him. dilbert: can we call it something else?

Robot Pronouns

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Robot Pronouns - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #robot, #technology, #pronoun, #language, #preferred, #inferior, #species, #reproduce

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dilbert: i'll be working with him on the project. robot: "him"? that is not my preferred pronoun. i prefer, "it," "that thing," or simply "the robot." genders only apply to inferior species. i do not need a partner to reproduce. watch this. erg...oof...gaaa! the head is out... here ya go. dilbert talking to boss: i'll be working with that thing.

Adding Insult To Injury

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Adding Insult To Injury  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #tech support, #customer, #calls, #interface, #reboot, #idiot

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boss: i hired the dogbert tech support team to help with customer calls because our user interface is so sadistic. dilbert: wouldn't that be adding insult to injury? boss: how so? dogbert in a office at a desk yelling: try rebooting, you idiot. and don't call again!

Bring Me Solutions

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Bring Me Solutions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #solutions, #problems, #worthless, #sarcasm, #example

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boss: i want you to bring me solutions, not problems! dilbert: that's a funny way to call yourself worthless. boss: i do plenty around here! boss: but in the interest of time, i will not list any examples.

No Time Before Next Meeting

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No Time Before Next Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2020's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #care, #co-workers, #hate, #job, #lesson, #meeting, #nonesence, #procrastinate, #reality, #report, #stupid, #technical, #technology, #time

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dilbert thinking: that meeting ran long, so now i have ten minutes before the next one. i'm suppose to bring a complete technical report, and i haven't even started it. i hate this stupid job! dilbert still thinking but showing signs of distress: i hate my boss! i hate my stupid co-workers! dilbert yelling: i don't care about anything anymore! dilbert thinking and typing on laptop: i'll just angrily slap together a bunch of nonsense and call it good. grrrrrr!!! in conference room. boss: this is your bet report ever. dilbert yelling: what? dilbert at home with dogbert: today i learned a dangerous lesson about reality.

Wally Prefers Systems

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Wally Prefers Systems  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #office workers, #goals, #question, #answer, #system, #year

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dilbert: what are your goals for the year? wally: i prefer systems over goals. dilbert: okay, what are your systems? wally: none of them involve answering questions.

Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support

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Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #train, #tech support, #problem, #reboot, #computer, #problem solving, #genius

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boss: dogbert, i need you to train asok to fill in for you on tech support. dogbert to asok: the goal of tech support is to convince the caller the problem is on their end. i do this by recommending increasingly difficult things for them to try. eventually they give up, watch and learn. dogbert on call: uh-huh... uh-huh... try rebooting your computer. now try it again while holding control -escape-space bar- delete for exactly 27.3 seconds. no luck? try looking at your computer's binary code to find any zeros and ones that are out of order. click dogbert: and he's gone. asok: genius!

How To Identify Good Ideas

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How To Identify Good Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2020's comic on:


Tags #technology, #decision making, #smart, #people, #idiot, #agree, #disagree, #good, #bad, #idea, #rational

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dilbert: i can't tell the difference between good ideas and bad ones. there are smart people on both sides of every idea. what rational process do you use to determine who is right? wally: i label people who disagree with me "idiots" and call it a day.

Meeting Ending Invention

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Meeting Ending Invention    - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #invent, #app, #application, #ring, #phone, #meeting, #strategic, #direction, #face mask

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dilbert: i invented an app that makes your phone ring to get you out of meetings. boss: how does that fit our strategic direction? dilbert's phone: bing, bing, bing! dilbert walking away: i need to take this call.

New Words

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New Words - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #new words, #racist, #sexist, #power, #master switch, #server, #shelve, #politically correct, #face mask

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catbert: it has come to our attention that many of the words we use at work are racist and often sexist. for example, we can no longer refer to the main power shut-off as a "master switch." dilbert: is that the one on the server rack? catbert: we call those "shelves" now.