Being Doctor Comic Strips - Page 54

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592 Results for Being Doctor

View 531 - 540 results for being doctor comic strips. Discover the best "Being Doctor" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2016's comic on:


Tags #email, #communication, #response, #confusion, #honesty, #overshare

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Man: Did you see my email? Dilbert; Did you mean your two-page document that has about twelve questions for me sprinkled throughout? Man: Yes, that's the one. Why haven't you responded? Dilbert: It's hard to answer that question while being polite. Man: You can be honest. Dilbert: Your email was such a disorganized mess that I assumed everything you do is doomed to fail. I didn't want to waste half a day deciphering it just so I could be on the losing side. With you. Man: Next time, just say you were busy. Dilbert: And I was busy.

Tina Isn't An Engineer

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Tina Isn't An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #engineer, #evaluation, #value, #catch-22, #fired, #termination, #engineering

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Boss: The company makes me rank all of my employees. I put you last because you're not an engineer. I have to fire whoever is ranked lowest, and I can't afford to lose any engineers. Tina; What if I work harder, and do a great job? Boss: Then I'd fire you for not being a team player.

Internet Wants Ceo To Die

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Internet Wants Ceo To Die - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #anger, #shame, #unpopular, #popularity, #public relations, #gawker

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CEO: The company we acquired is making us look bad. Dilbert: How bad? CEO: The internet is demanding that I drink poison and apologize to the world while I die. What should I do? Dilbert: Well, I'm no doctor, but I'd go with something fast-acting.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #excuse, #illness

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Wally: I have a note from my doctor. It says I'm too sensitive to handle criticism. I don't understand all the medical details. It has something to do with the mind-body connection. One minor criticism from you and my lungs will collapse. If that happens, you'll need to pinch my nose, create a seal with your mouth, and reinflate them. Boss: This doctor's note looks like your handwriting. Wally: Ow! My lung!

Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia

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Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #fair, #comfort, #flying, #money, #budget, #cost, #selfish

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Dilbert: The flight to Elbonia is seventeen hours. Can I fly business class? Boss: No, because your pain will be temporary, but I won't get my bonus if I go over budget. Try being a team player for once. Dilbert: I didn't know Satan had a team.

Acting Interested In Dilbert

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Acting Interested In Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #managers, #relationships, #human, #humanity, #productivity, #motivation

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Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!

Punishment By Talking

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Punishment By Talking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #time, #time management, #managers, #perspective

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Boss: Why is your project taking so long? Dilbert; It isn't. It only seems like a long time to you because you don't know how to do anything. Boss: I know how to punish you for being late. Dilbert: Does it involve talking to me while I'm trying to work?

Tricky To Be An Optimist

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Tricky To Be An Optimist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #coffee, #conversation, #glass

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Boss: Are you done writing the soft-ware? Wally: Yes, but it has some bugs. Boss: How is that different from not being done? Wally: I see the glass as half full. Boss: Half full of bugs? Wally: Optimism is tricky.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #wages, #cost of living, #raise, #money, #rent, #apartment, #roommate, #space

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Asok: I need a raise because the cost of living around here is too high. Boss: Stop being greedy. I pay you plenty. Asok: I can't even afford to rent an apartment. Boss: Get some roommates. Asok: I can't afford that either. I've been sleeping on a baby changing table in a public restroom. And the janitor has been charging me $3,000 per month for that. Boss: How wide is the baby changing table? Asok: Not wide enough for a roommate. Boss: Well, I'm out of ideas.

Taking Pride In Work

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Taking Pride In Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #pep talk, #logic, #pride, #suffering, #work ethic

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Boss: Wally, I"m starting to think you don't take pride in your work. Wally: That would be like taking pride in being the victim of a crime. Catbert: How'd the pep talk go? Boss: He made some good points.