Dogberts Talk Radio Comic Strips - Page 54

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View 531 - 540 results for dogberts talk radio comic strips. Discover the best "Dogberts Talk Radio" comics from Dilbert.com.

Checking The Time

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Checking The Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bored, boredom, dying, dead

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Boss: Stop checking the time when I talk to you! Dilbert: I wasn't checking the time. I was checking my pulse to see if I'm dying from boredom. Uh-oh. Boss: I hope this is a coincidence.

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The Government Is Listening

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The Government Is Listening - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags surveillance, fbi, privacy, technology, bug, spying, cell phone, iphone, apple

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Boss: The government asked me for an update on your project. Dilbert: I'll talk into your phone. They listen to you all day long. Boss: This is unsettling. Dilbert: Everything is on schedule!

Longest Date Ever

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Longest Date Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, relationships, Women, Men, attraction, record, conversation

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Dilbert: My date lasted 53 minutes. Dogbert: That's your longest yet. Was she trapped in any way, such as under rubble? Dilbert: Nope! Dogbert: Wow. How'd you do it? Dilbert: I didn't talk for the first 49 minutes.

Dilbert Is Antisocial

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Dilbert Is Antisocial - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags antisocial, misanthropy, introvert, communication, relationships

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: People are complaining that you're antisocial. Dilbert: I only dislike the people I get to know. Catbert: Then why do you get to know them? Dilbert: It happens by accident when they talk.

Political Opinions Only Make It Worse

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Political Opinions Only Make It Worse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, speaking, conversation, Politics

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Man: Did you watch any of the debates? Dilbert: Stop right there. I'm barely clinging to the illusion that you're competent at your job. Don't talk about politics or it will only get worse. Man: Did you know China caused climate change by hogging the sun? Dilbert: And there it is.

Presidential Role Model

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Presidential Role Model - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags role model, example, election, candidate, logic

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Boss: We need a president who can be a good role model for my kids. Dilbert: That will come in handy if your kids want to raise your taxes or veto a transportation bill. Boss: Why do I talk to you? Dilbert: I assume you do it to gain wisdom.

Biggest Risk To Happiness

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Biggest Risk To Happiness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, Advice, complaining, conversation, psychology

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Wally: The biggest risk to your happiness involves listening to other people. When they aren't trying to make you work, they're complaining. Asok: I hate that. Wally: Shhh. Don't talk.

Wally Waits For People

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Wally Waits For People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags responsibility, laziness, work ethic, excuses

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Boss: You accomplished nothing this month. Wally: I'm waiting for people to get back to me. I believe it is your job to make sure those other people do their jobs. Boss: I guess I could talk to them. Wally: I'll wait for you to get back to me.

Dogbert's Particle Accelerator

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Dogbert's Particle Accelerator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags scheme, plan, deception, trick, science, invention

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Dogbert: I built a particle accelerator in the basement. Dilbert: Sounds expensive. Dogbert: Not if you use cardboard. My plan is to say I discovered one new particle per week. When scientists fail to confirm my discoveries, I will say they need better accelerators.

Dogbert's Recommendations

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Dogbert's Recommendations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, consultant, listening, employees, business

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Dogbert Consults. Dogbert: I recommend doing all of the things your employees have been telling you to do. Boss: I don't see why I should pay you for this. Dogbert: Oh. Then how about doing all the things your competition is doing? Boss: Now, that's a great idea. Dogbert: Good, because that's what your employees have been telling you to do.