Assemble Computer Comic Strips - Page 54

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

639 Results for Assemble Computer

View 531 - 540 results for assemble computer comic strips. Discover the best "Assemble Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadline, #computer, #work, #arbitrary, #sarcastic, #hearing distance, #scurry away, #fast, #end of day, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "And I'll need that by the end of day." Dilbert says, "I will gladly rush to meet your arbitrary deadline so my work can sit in your e-mail inbox until next week." The Boss says, "I'm still within hearing distance." Dilbert says, "Oops. You usually scurry away faster."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #work, #lazy, #update software, #computer, #reboot, #endless cycle, #drink coffee, #optimism, #past, #waste time, #technology, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Every time I update my software, it tells me I have to reboot." Wally says, "And every time I reboot, I get another message to update something else. It's all I've been doing since October." The Boss says, "But you worked in September, right?" Wally says, "I admire your optimism about the past."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #feedback, #website design, #computer, #eyes wide, #psychopath, #photo wall, #toe fungus, #despair, #yell, #mouth open, #scared, #pain, #satan, #licking, #brain, #tone down, #hair stand up, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "I need your honest feedback on our new website design." Asok says, "The layout looks like a psychopath's photo wall. The colors remind me of toe fungus and despair." Tina says, "I'll say, 'needs work.'" Asok says, "It feels like Satan is licking my brain!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer service, #credit card expense, #reimbursement, #late fees, #punish, #devil, #hell, #rock, #sit at computer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "It takes you two months to process my company credit card expense reimbursement." Dilbert says, "So I get in trouble every month for incurring late fees." Dilbert says, "Why must I be punished for your incompetence?" Devil says, "Apparently I'm awesome."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech support, #sit at computer, #annoying, #read book online, #microphone

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert says, "Email me a list of the things you already tried." Dogbert says, "I'll go down the list and make you try every single thing again, sometimes more than once." Dogbert says, "And take your time because I'm reading a really good book online."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech support, #condenscending, #brain, #intelligence, #sit at computer, #back, #talk, #stairs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert says, "The problem is in the part of your brain that handles intelligence." Dogbert says, "I can reboot you, but I won't lie: It's going to hurt." Dilbert says, "We need to talk." Dogbert says, "Are you near stairs?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech support, #sit down, #talk, #stool, #computer, #headset, #technical problems, #trick, #hurt, #pessimism, #angry, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "It's not right to use your tech support job to trick people into hurting themselves." Dogbert says, "I help people take their minds off of hopeless technical problems." Dilbert says, "How do you know a problem is hopeless?" Dogbert says, "Great. So now pessimism is a crime?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #technology service, #hospice, #bazooka, #hold gun, #intimidate, #compassion, #surprise, #scared, #computer, #windows xp, #technology, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I hired the Dogbert Technology Hospice Service to ease the suffering of our dying technology." The Boss says, "Dogbert will use compassion and? what was the other thing?" Dogbert says, "Bazooka." Dogbert says, "Step away from the Windows XP!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #preventer of information services, #mordac, #vampire, #grumpy, #crossed arms, #upgrad computer, #useful, #non-standard, #software, #wordsmith, #yell, #point, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac, the Preventer of Information Services Tina says, "My software is so old that I can't open any files that people send me." Mordac says, "I can't upgrade your computer because then it will be non-standard." Tina says, "And by non-standard, you mean useful?" Mordac says, "Be gone, wordsmith!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #engineer, #worst user interface, #click, #sell social security number, #overhead view of cubicle, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilber thinks, "The world's greatest engineer prepares to do battle with the world's worst user interface." Dilbert thinks, "I hope that did something." Computer says, "Your social security number has been sold."