Big Business Comic Strips - Page 54
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1000 Results for Big Business
View 531 - 540 results for big business comic strips. Discover the best "Big Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday May 16,
2004
Tags celebrity business plan, commit crime, hire lawyer, reality tv show, gain weight, tabloids, spokesperson, weight loss product, write children book, rehab, addicted to painkillers, plan, future plans, goals, sensationalism
Transcript
Dogbert: "Would you review my celebrity business plan?" Dilbert: "Sure." Dogbert: "First, I'll commit a sensational crime that the media can't ignore." "Then I'll hire celebrity lawyer, Johnny 'Red' Galipigos to help me beat the rap." "I'll use my fame to land a part on a reality tv show where I will win by cheating." "Then I'll gain a massive amount of the weight so the tabloids will fixate on me." "Burp" "Then I'll become a spokesperson for a weight loss product." "It works!" "Lastly, I'll write children's books." Dilbert: "What about rehab?" "Good catch. I totally forgot the part where I get addicted to pain killers." Dilbert: "Otherwise it looks good."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday May 18,
2004
Tags carol, secreatry, secret society, executive secreataries, rule the world, own secreatries, Women, meeting, take over the world, evil overlords, business
Transcript
Carol: welcome to the secret society of executive secretaries. Today we will wrest power from our evil overlords! Tomorrow we'll rule the world! Then connie pointed out that we'd need our own secretaries and the whole thing fell apart.
Wednesday May 26,
2004
Tags kodos, morale, mascot, meetings, moral improves, bear suit, meeting, low morale, idea for imprvement, business
Transcript
The Boss: "His name is Kudos, the bear-er of good morale!" "Kudos" "He's our new mascot. He'll attend all of our meetings until morale improves." "Today is Asok's turn in the suit."
Sunday May 30,
2004
Tags tight budget, colorful paper clips, incoming email, paid per hour, watch, meeting, berate employee, business
Transcript
"Yesterday, someone in this room gave me a document with a yellow paper clip." "I know that multicolored paper clips look 'pretty.'" "But I remind you that we are on a tight budget!" "We can't be throwing away all our money on colorful paper clips." "Do I make myself clear?!!" "I salvaged that paper clip from incoming mail." "Now excuse me while I stare at my watch and wonder how much you're paid per hour." "I'm sure you've done inefficient things that I don't know about." "Two minutes is... $5."
Monday June 14,
2004
Tags small business, need to be paid, small man, truthful, painfully honest
Transcript
I own a small business. Its imperative that you pay us on time or else we'll go out of business. and then you wouldn't ever need to pay... Oh dear lord, what have I said?!!
Wednesday June 23,
2004
Tags job, last job, sued last job, poor judegment, job interview, business
Transcript
The Boss: Why did you leave your last job? They told me that I have incredibly poor judgment. So I sued them
Saturday July 03,
2004
Tags sublet space, business case, risks and drivers, changed mind
Transcript
Dilbert: "We only have two people on the third floor. Let's move them to our empty cubes here and sublet the space." The Boss: "Write a business case with all the risks and business drivers and I'll consider it." Dilbert: "I changed my mind. We shouldn't so anything." The boss: "I need a business case for that, too."
Tuesday July 13,
2004
Tags negotiate sale, voice activated hassock business, no lying, plenty of ommissions, tactical ignorance
Transcript
The Boss: "I want you to negotiate the sale of our voice activated hassock business." "You're not allowed to lie, but I expect plenty of omissions, misdirections, exaggerations..." "...Unjustified optimism, lost documents, unclear explanations, gray areas and tactical ignorance. Oh, and say that we have other offers."
Monday July 19,
2004
Tags hairball, stock options, evil director, human resources, bous system, kindness of management, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: stock options will be replaced with a bonus system. Dilbert: So....now my happiness depends on the kindness of management instead of the gullibility of our investors? Catbert: allow me to respond by hacking a hairball in your direction.
Saturday July 24,
2004
Tags marketing, dumpster diving, feral, product specs, feral employee, business
Transcript
The feral employee Marketing wouldn't give me the product specs. So I made this face and rifled through their dumpster. and you found the product specs? French fry.

