Computer Programmers Comic Strips - Page 54
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646 Results for Computer Programmers
View 531 - 540 results for computer programmers comic strips. Discover the best "Computer Programmers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 14,
2009
Wednesday January 13,
2010
Tags customers, product design, dumb, hat, monkey, software, meeting, computer, annoyed, technology, animals, business, engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "We need to get our customers more involved in the product design cycle." Dilbert says, "We only have customers who are too dumb to check product reviews online." The Boss says, "Do it anyway." Customer says, "Can it wear a hat like a monkey?" Dilbert says, "For the millionth time, software can't wear clothes."
Friday January 15,
2010
Tags sitting, computer, waste of time, tasks, technology
Transcript
Man says, "Do you have a minute?" Dilbert says, "Absolutely." Dilbert says, "I allocated one minute today for tasks that are a complete waste of time." Man says, "This isn't a complete waste of time." Dilbert says, "Bummer. I only allocated time for things that are."
Wednesday January 27,
2010
Tags e-mail, urgent, sitting, desk, computer, flames, eclipse, cell phone, witless protection program, hoax, duped, technology
Transcript
Dilbert says, "The urgent e-mail you forwarded to the entire company is a hoax." Dilbert says, "People don't really burst into flames if they use their cell phones during an eclipse." Dilbert says, "And more bad news: The witless protection program isn't a real thing."
Sunday February 21,
2010
Tags cost estimate, deny, numbers, manipulate, decisions, hurt, typing at computer, humming noise, annoy, go away, angry face, home, sitting on couch
Transcript
Coworker says, "Can I get a rough cost estimate for the design phase?" Dilbert says, "No. I don't trust you with numbers." Coworker says, "What?" Dilbert says, "You're the kind of guy who will remove useful qualifiers and distribute a figure as if it is true in all cases." Dilbert says, "Decisions will be made. People will get hurt." Dilbert says, "For everyone's sake, the safest thing I can do is make an annoying humming sound until you go away." Dilbert says, "Hummmmm-mmmmmmmmm-mmmmm." Dilbert says, "Half of life is making people go away." Dogbert says, "Humm-mmmm"
Tuesday February 23,
2010
Tags deadline, computer, work, arbitrary, sarcastic, hearing distance, scurry away, fast, end of day, technology
Transcript
The Boss says, "And I'll need that by the end of day." Dilbert says, "I will gladly rush to meet your arbitrary deadline so my work can sit in your e-mail inbox until next week." The Boss says, "I'm still within hearing distance." Dilbert says, "Oops. You usually scurry away faster."
Monday March 29,
2010
Tags meeting, work, lazy, update software, computer, reboot, endless cycle, drink coffee, optimism, past, waste time, technology, business
Transcript
Wally says, "Every time I update my software, it tells me I have to reboot." Wally says, "And every time I reboot, I get another message to update something else. It's all I've been doing since October." The Boss says, "But you worked in September, right?" Wally says, "I admire your optimism about the past."
Thursday April 01,
2010
Tags feedback, website design, computer, eyes wide, psychopath, photo wall, toe fungus, despair, yell, mouth open, scared, pain, satan, licking, brain, tone down, hair stand up, technology
Transcript
Tina says, "I need your honest feedback on our new website design." Asok says, "The layout looks like a psychopath's photo wall. The colors remind me of toe fungus and despair." Tina says, "I'll say, 'needs work.'" Asok says, "It feels like Satan is licking my brain!"
Wednesday April 28,
2010
Tags customer service, credit card expense, reimbursement, late fees, punish, devil, hell, rock, sit at computer
Transcript
Dilbert says, "It takes you two months to process my company credit card expense reimbursement." Dilbert says, "So I get in trouble every month for incurring late fees." Dilbert says, "Why must I be punished for your incompetence?" Devil says, "Apparently I'm awesome."
Friday April 30,
2010
Tags tech support, sit at computer, annoying, read book online, microphone
Transcript
Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert says, "Email me a list of the things you already tried." Dogbert says, "I'll go down the list and make you try every single thing again, sometimes more than once." Dogbert says, "And take your time because I'm reading a really good book online."


