Fake Own Death Comic Strips - Page 54

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679 Results for Fake Own Death

View 531 - 540 results for fake own death comic strips. Discover the best "Fake Own Death" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ted Retires And Dies Same Day

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Ted Retires And Dies Same Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #death, #managers, #retirement, #conincidence, #luck, #retired, #dropped dead, #overworked, #medical

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Catbert: Ted retired yesterday and dropped dead this morning. You worked him to death with perfect timing. Nicely done/ Unless it was just a coincidence. Boss: If I'm being honest, hitting the exact day was just luck.

We Will Never Forget Ted

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We Will Never Forget Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coworker, #coworkers, #death, #tributes, #morning, #beloved collegue, #never forget, #medical

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Boss: We mourn the untimely passing of our beloved colleague, Fred. We will never forget him. Dilbert: It was Ted, not Fred. Boss: Was he beloved? Wally: I don't remember. It was like a week ago.

Send Ceo On Dangerous Stunts

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Send Ceo On Dangerous Stunts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceos, #death, #deception, #split duites, #boring meetings, #publicity stunts, #business scheme, #3people, #medical

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Co-CEOs. Dogbert: Let's split the duties this way... I will be the CEO who attends boring meetings, and you can be more of a Richard Branson type who does dangerous publicity stunts. Co-CEO: I love that idea. Dogbert: And then there was one.

Co Ceo Died Kitesurfing

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Co Ceo Died Kitesurfing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #ceos, #death, #emotions, #executives, #bad news, #publicity stunt, #margins, #died, #medical

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Dogbert the Co-CEO. Dilbert: I have bad news. Your Co-CEO died trying to kitesurf some class 6 rapids for a publicity stunt. Dogbert: Get to the bad part. Is it margins?

Bob Is Proud Of His Flip Phone

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Bob Is Proud Of His Flip Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinosaurs, #insult, #insults, #judgement, #smart phones, #technology, #flip phone, #judegment, #follow ups

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Dinosaur: I don't own a smartphone. I use a flip phone because it does everything I want. Alice: Why are you proud of being a big, dumb dinosaur with a terrible phone? Dinosaur: I"m sensing a lot of judgement in that question. Alice: Wait until you hear my follow-ups.

Wally Uses Misdirection

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Wally Uses Misdirection - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #criticism, #work ethic, #misguided, #whip to death, #intestines, #nap time, #elaborate cruelty

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Wally: I would love to help you, Alice, but Dilbert says everything you are doing is misguided. Alice: What? I will whip him to death with his own intestines! Wally: Can you either do that quietly or wait until after my nap time?

Carol Has Passion For Her Job

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Carol Has Passion For Her Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #boredom, #boring, #email, #fake passion, #forwarded email, #mindless, #passion, #success, #warren buffet, #work ethic

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Carol: Warren Buffett says my career will be better if I show passion for my job. I'll have to fake the passion because everything I do in this job is mindless and boring. Later. Carol: Woo-hoo! I forwarded an email!

3 D Immersive Goggles

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3 D Immersive Goggles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death, #distraction, #mortality, #technology, #virtual reality, #3d goggles, #testing, #good experince, #forget to eat, #medical

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Dilbert: Hey, Ted, how do you like our new 3-D immersive goggles you've been testing for two weeks? Some people say the experience is so good that you forget to eat. You're dead, aren't you...

Blist Point For 3 D Goggles

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Blist Point For 3 D Goggles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer retention, #death, #immersive technology, #moratlity, #technology, #virtual reality, #immersive 3d head gear, #starved, #bliss point, #medical

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Dilbert: We found the "bliss point" for immersive 3-D headgear. The product is so good that 87% of our customers starved to death while using it. CEO: We never get the customer retention part right.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #arguing, #personal business, #work ethic, #work load, #work call, #payment, #time management, #handled arguement, #bodd, #employee, #repremand, #money

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Boss: That doesn't sound like a work call. Carol: It isn't I don't have time to do my personal stuff on my own time. I have to do it on work time. Boss: I pay you to do work stuff, not personal stuff. Carol: Then how would I get all of my personal stuff done? Boss: That's not my problem. Carol: Then why did you bring it up. Boss: Because I need you to do work. Carol: I told you I can't get all of my personal stuff done if I do your work! Boss: Okay, okay. I probably could have handled that better.