Woman Comic Strips - Page 54
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Character
558 Results for Woman
View 531 - 540 results for woman comic strips. Discover the best "Woman" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday March 27,
2017
Ambitious Men
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday March 29,
2017
Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise
Tags laziness, genius, work ethic, efficiency
Transcript
Woman: Can you do that by end of day? Wally: It would be smarter to wait until we have the final specs. Woman: I can't tell if you're lazy or wise. Wally: It's all the same thing. Woman: This is a weird gray area. Wally: I'm going to take a quick nap to boost my productivity.
Saturday November 25,
2017
Threatening Wally
Tags laziness, excuse, threat, ultimatum
Transcript
Woman: Wally, did you finish the data scrub? Wally: No, a defect in my brain made me too lazy. Woman: Perhaps some sort of threat would get you going. Wally: It's worth a try. Woman: Do your work or else I'll tell everyone you're useless! Wally: That would save me a lot of time.
Saturday March 24,
2018
Artificial Deadlines
Tags deadline, logic, motivation, excuses
Transcript
Woman: You've been promising me you'd finish the web page for the last six months. Wally: This is your fault for not giving me an artificial deadline. Woman: Okay. I need it by end of day. Wally: And miss my dental appointment??
Tuesday April 17,
2018
Deducing Rank
Tags hierarchy, rank, marketing, jargon, lingo, adspeak, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I don't know how to answer your question because I got here late and I haven't deduced your rank in the company. Woman: I'm the new director of Marketing, so you need to pretend my question makes sense. Dilbert: Give me a minute to get into that mindset. Woman: Take your time.
Friday May 04,
2018
Both Huge Liars
Sunday May 13,
2018
Tags berating, yelling, gaslight, temper, anger, frustration
Transcript
Asok: What's that gadget? Woman: Are you freakin' serious? Asok: Yes. Woman: Oh... My... God. Do you not remember the long discussion about this thing in the last meeting? Are you trying to gaslight me? I have not patience for trolls! Eat dirt and die! Asok: I joined the project today. This is my first meeting. Woman: Liar! Dilbert: Welcome to the team.
Thursday May 17,
2018
Conditions For Wally To Be On The Team
Tags laziness, work ethic, excuses
Transcript
Wally: My boss gave me approval to join your project team under the condition I don't take on any extra work. Woman: The whole point of being on the project is to do extra work. Maybe I should talk to your boss. Wally: His other condition is that you never contact him.
Thursday May 24,
2018
Boring And Needy Children
Tags parents, mother, interview, children, annoyance, work-life balance, Family
Transcript
Boss: Do you enjoy spending time with your children? Woman: No, they're boring and needy. They can't even hold a conversation. If I'm being honest, I prefer working long hours so I see less of them. Boss: Perfect. You're hired. Woman: I mean, I love them, but I don't like them.
Sunday May 27,
2018
Tags manipulation, fear, tactic, ignorance, jargon, language
Transcript
Woman: I need help persuading your boss to bless my project. Should I use facts and logic? Dilbert: No, he hates that stuff. Woman: Maybe I could appeal to his better angels? Dilbert: His better angels wear noise-canceling headphones. Woman: Okay, fine. I'll just appeal to his self-interest. Dilbert: It would be in his best interest to avoid people like you. Woman: What do you suggest? Dilbert: We've had good outcomes using his ignorance and fear. Woman: Sign this ore else a blockchain drone will kill you in your sleep. Boss: Where's my pen!

