Better Plans Comic Strips - Page 54
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578 Results for Better Plans
View 531 - 540 results for better plans comic strips. Discover the best "Better Plans" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday March 11,
2019
Marketing Lies
Tags Dilbert, boss, headphones, competition, meeting, marketing, lies
Transcript
Dilbert: Our new headphones product is better than the competition in every way. Boss: Excellent. I'll get marketing involved to tell a bunch of lies about all of that. Dilbert: Why would they need to lie? Boss: They're kind of set in their ways.
Sunday April 07,
2019
Tags business, office, office workers, relationships, sarcasm
Transcript
tina: i don't appreciate the sarcastic text message you sent me. dilbert: that wasn't sarcastic. tina: yes, it was. dilbert: wouldn't i be a better authority than you about my own intentions? tina: only if i could trust you. but i can't trust you. dilbert: give me one good reason why you shouldn't trust me. tina: because you send sarcastic text messages. dilbert: um... tina: and here comes the mansplaining.
Saturday March 30,
2019
Smart To Wait
Tags business, office, office workers, technology, proposal
Transcript
i approved your technology proposal. dilbert: i made that proposal six months ago. now everything has changed and it no longer makes sense. the boss: well, i guess i was smart to wait. dilbert: the less you do, the better.
Sunday April 14,
2019
Wally Plans His Retirement
Tags business, office, office workers, retirement, profit
Transcript
wally: the product i'm developing will be unprofitable for the first none years, but revenue will surge in the tenth. the boss: didn't you tell me you plan to retire in nine years? wally: maybe. the boss: you will be happily retired before we find out if profits really do surge in year ten. the boss: that makes everything you say sound suspicious. wally: numbers don't lie. the boss: who came up with the numbers? wally: that's all the time we have for questions.
Wednesday April 10,
2019
Alice Won't Shake Hands
Tags business, office, office workers, presentation, germs
Transcript
the boss attempting a handshake: great job on the presentation. alice: i prefer to avoid contact with that festering germ colony you call a hand. the boss: okay. better safe than sorry. alice: and could you face backward when you talk to me?
Monday April 15,
2019
Potluck Celebration
Tags business, office, office workers, potluck, friday, team, celebration
Transcript
the boss in meeting: i scheduled a potluck to celebrate the team's success. dilbert: a potluck is more like a penalty than a celebration. dilbert: but i guess it's better than working. the boss: it starts at 8 pm on friday.
Tuesday April 16,
2019
Old Time Chair
Tags business, chair, office, office workers, ergonomics
Transcript
office worker: are you still using an old-time chair? office worker: i sit on a giant rubber ball because of all the ergonomics and stuff. office worker yelling: i'm better than you!!! dilbert: i wondered if there was a summary coming.
Monday April 29,
2019
Dogbert Starts A Podcast
Tags business, office, office workers, podcast
Transcript
dogbert: i decided to start my own podcast. dogbert: i'm crafting my content to appeal to dumb people because that's the biggest market. dilbert: how will that make the world a better place? dogbert: based on your question, you'd enjoy my podcast.
Friday May 10,
2019
Bad Planning
Tags business, office, office workers, teamwork, team, deadline
Transcript
ted: i need your help on my project today, or i'll miss my deadline. dilbert: are you trying to turn your lack of planning into my problem? ted: i was hoping you would be a team player. dilbert: i'm holding out for an offer from a better team.
Saturday June 01,
2019
Winners Never Quit
Tags business, office, office workers, sarcasm, inspirational quotes
Transcript
the boss: i'm not having much luck with my inspirational quotes, but i thought i would try one more time. the boss: "winners never quit, and quitters never win." dilbert: when ted quit, you gave him a raise to stay. the boss: these work better when you don't think about them.