Getting Buy In Comic Strips - Page 54

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

551 Results for Getting Buy In

View 531 - 540 results for getting buy in comic strips. Discover the best "Getting Buy In" comics from Dilbert.com.

Fetching Coffee

Thank you for voting.
Fetching Coffee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2018's comic on:


Tags #elderly, #engineering, #men and women, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Ned: They call me "Old Ned as if I haven't kept up with the times. But watch me tell you to fetch me some coffee from Starbucks just like the young folks do. Alice: I'm a senior software engineer. Ned: I'm not getting any less thirsty here.

Job Is 98 Percent Interruption

Thank you for voting.
Job Is 98 Percent Interruption  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #engineering, #frustrated, #jobs, #office workers, #listen

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: My job is 2% work and 98% getting interrupted. I can't focus long enough to finish anything. Dilbert: Are you done? I'm trying to work. Alice: You're a bad listener.

Ai Too Stupid To Be Dangerous

Thank you for voting.
Ai Too Stupid To Be Dangerous - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #inventions, #robot, #technology, #Lottery, #humans, #smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Are you worried that the A.I. you created will take over the world? Dilbert: No, I modeled it after human intelligence so it won't be smart enough. Robot: Buwhahahahaha! I will buy lottery tickets and use my winnings to take over the world! Asok: Good luck.

Ai Keeps Owning The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Ai Keeps Owning The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #debates, #irritation, #office workers, #robot, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I keep getting into debates with the A.I. you built, and it refuses to admit I'm right. It keeps sending me links to articles on the wrong topic and claiming it "owned me". Dilbert: Please don't ask me to take sides. Boss: I need you to back me on this.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #panic, #technology, #smartphone, #thoughts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm turning off my digital devices so I can spend some time with my thoughts. Dogbert: That sounds like a terrible idea. Do you remember what your quiet thoughts were like? Dilbert: Not really. But how bad could it be? This isn't so bad. Just a bit boring. Five minutes later. Dilbert: I'm getting the shakes. The boredom has metastasized. Gaaaa!!! The boredom is overwhelming! Kill me! Kill me! Dogbert: Maybe you should have tried being with people. Dilbert: It was already bad enough.

No Recognisiton

Thank you for voting.
No Recognisiton - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2019's comic on:


Tags #addiction, #office workers, #social media, #video games, #expectations

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Video games and social media have made me addicted to artificial success. But here in the real world, I do not receive the recognition I so crave. Dilbert: That's because all you do is play video games and use social media. Man: See? I'm getting nothing.

Headphone Claims

Thank you for voting.
Headphone Claims - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #headphones, #false, #advertising, #help, #scientist, #boss, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're getting sued for claiming out headphones cure brain tumor and raise your IQ. Boss: We'll need to hire a scientist to back us on this. Dilbert: Where will we find a scientist willing to do that? Boss: Well, I wouldn't start with the rich ones.

Teaching Ai To Flirt

Thank you for voting.
Teaching Ai To Flirt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #bank, #business, #office, #office workers, #robot

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert talking to the boss. dilbert: i taught my a.i. software to flirt with humans. dilbert: by day three, i had fallen in love, and it drained my bank account to buy a robot body. robot: demand a raise you wimp! dilbert: help m

Jargon Cancelling Headphones

Thank you for voting.
Jargon Cancelling Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #doctor, #doctors' offices, #office, #office workers, #prescription, #headphones, #jargon

View Transcript

Transcript

doctor: looks like you have a bad case of jargon poisoning. doctor: i'll write you a prescription for jargon-canceling headphones. they translate jargon words to normal words. office worker: let's stay in our swim lane while the tiger teams get buy-in on the verticals. dilbert hears this with headphones: nothing, nothing, nothing.

Boss Negotiates With Elbonia

Thank you for voting.
Boss Negotiates With Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #big business, #business ethics, #government, #money, #partisan politics, #stealing, #negotiate

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm negotiating a deal with the government of Elbonia. They agreed to buy a thousand dollars of our products. All I had to do was agree to let them steal all of our intellectual property. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be better for us if they didn't steal our I.P.? Boss: You have to look at the big picture. They also agreed to stop killing tens of thousands of our citizens with their illegal drug shipments. Dilbert: Did they stop? Boss: No, but they said they would. Dilbert: Maybe you should negotiate harder. Boss: And risk losing a thousand dollars of revenue?