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Press Release About Hack

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Press Release About Hack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hacker, #hacking, #information, #privacy, #damage control, #apology

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Boss: Hackers got our customer data. Write a press release saying we are sorry and it will never happen again. Tina: Is any of that true? Boss: Part of it is. Tina: Which part. Boss: Hackers got our customer data.

Massive Data Breach

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Massive Data Breach  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #data, #facebook, #privacy, #apology, #statement, #big business, #lying, #damage control

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Dilbert: We had a massive data breach. Hackers got into the private data of all of our customers. Boss: No problem. We'll issue a press release that says we're sorry and it will never happen again. Dilbert: That's what we said the last three times it happened. Boss: Our strategy is to wear them down.

Smartphone Syndrome

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Smartphone Syndrome - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #cell phone, #smart phone, #compulsion, #addiction, #attention, #distraction, #mental health, #technology

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Doctor: You've got a bad case of smartphone syndrome. One of hundred percent of your mental and physical problems are caused by using your phone too much. I don't feel as if I'm getting through to you. Alice texting: She's still talking. LOL.

Dilbert And Monkeys

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Dilbert And Monkeys - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #motivation, #work ethic, #engagement, #monkeys

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Dilbert: I don't feel my job is helping me reach my human potential. Boss: We only pay you because monkeys are hard to train and robots are expensive. Dilbert; Maybe I'll just play with my phone and pretend to work. Boss: That's what got the monkey fired.

One Problem Becomes Two

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One Problem Becomes Two - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #complaint, #belief, #Opinion

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Dilbert: Today a dozen people got angry at me because they believed I was privately thinking the opposite of what I was saying. Why can't people just listen to my words?? Dogbert: Have you tried not being boring? Dilbert: Whenever I tell you I have one problem, I leave with two.

Wife Starts A Business

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Wife Starts A Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2018's comic on:


Tags #entrepreneur, #business, #divorce, #marriage, #assumption, #small business, #relationships

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Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.

Ted Dies From Chair

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Ted Dies From Chair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #Catbert, #the boss, #ted, #treadmill, #alice, #exercise ball, #kneeling chair, #ergonomics

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Catbert: Ted got thrown from his treadmill desk, bounced off of alice's exercise ball chair, and broke his neck on a kneeling chair. The cause of death is listed as, "good ergonomics." On the plus side, his posture was excellent.

Carol Gets Some Candor

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Carol Gets Some Candor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2018's comic on:


Tags #carol, #Wally, #radical candor, #candor, #compliment, #deer, #scat, #forest, #fire

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Wally: Looks like you got a good dose of radical candor. Carol: Yes, but it can bundled with insincere kindness, so all I felt was some tingling. Wally: You look like deer scat after a forest fire. Carol: Thank you for your candor.

Wally Covers For Alice

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Wally Covers For Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #alice, #heat, #thousand suns, #vacation, #Wally

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Alice: I'm back from vacation. Did you have any problems covering for me? Wally: No problem at all I saved all of your work for when you got back. Alice: I hate you with the heat of a thousand suns! Wally: How was your vacation? Was it relaxing?

Dogbert Throws Penalty Flag

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Dogbert Throws Penalty Flag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #alice, #the boss, #asok, #Wally, #Dilbert, #accomplish, #addicted, #apps, #fortnite, #slept, #losers, #podcast

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Alice: I accomplished nothing this week because I'm addicted to apps on my phone. I haven't slept in three days because of my "Fortnite" habit. The Boss: What about the rest of you losers? Asok: Shhh. I got a one-ear podcast going here.