Nothing To Report Comic Strips - Page 54

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

549 Results for Nothing To Report

View 531 - 540 results for nothing to report comic strips. Discover the best "Nothing To Report" comics from Dilbert.com.

Reporting On Tina

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Reporting On Tina - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #technical, #new, #bored, #coma, #writer

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: tina is in some sort of technical writer's trance. dilbert: apparently, i took too long to explain some new technology, and it bored her into a coma. should i report this? wally: only if you can do it succinctly

Report Is On Cluttered Desk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Report Is On Cluttered Desk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #project, #desk, #cluttered, #email, #lost

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: did you see my project update? boss: no wally: i left it on your cluttered desk. try excavating a few layers to find it. dilbert: what happens when he realizes it isn't there? wally: that's when i tell him to check his cluttered email.

Dogbert's Tech Support

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Tech Support  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #office worker, #product, #climate, #change, #Environment, #recycle

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's tech support female office worker: i can't figure out how to use your product. dogbert: the problem is climate change. there is nothing you can do. office worker: there must be something i can do. dogbert's voice from phone: do you recycle?

Employer Of The Year

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employer Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advertising, #managers & supervisors, #employer, #year, #million dollars, #attitude, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm proud to announce that we've been named "employer of the year." dilbert: how much did that cost? boss: nothing! all we had to do was buy a million dollars' worth of ads. dilbert: did we need those ads? boss: you won't win any awards with that attitude.

Email Versus Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Email Versus Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #meeting, #email, #hugs, #e-card, #co-workers

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: is there anything you plan to do in this meeting that we couldn't have done more easily by email. alice, boss & dilbert sitting at table saying nothing. boss: hugs? dilbert: send me an e-card.

Bias For Action

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bias For Action - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #co-workers, #business, #meeting, #prototype, #bias

View Transcript

Transcript

Co-workers around meeting table. Ted: our pointy-haired boss told us to scrap our prototype and start over from scratch. dilbert: o was in that meeting and he said nothing like that. maybe we should verify what he wants. ted: or... we could have a bias for action!

Ceo In Cubicle

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo In Cubicle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #private, #office, #cubicle, #common, #work, #employees

View Transcript

Transcript

eco: i've decided to give up my private office and work from a cubicle so employees will respect me more. my cubicle will be 1,000 square feet, with a ceiling. dilbert: that's called an office. eco: nothing pleases you common folk.

Elbonian Factory Problem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Factory Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #report, #factory, #elbonia, #problem, #lost, #power, #main, #floor, #employees, #scared, #trip, #dark, #gas, #line, #accident, #crater, #capital, #explosion, #unsympathetic

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: we have some problems in our elbonian factory. boss: how bad? dilbert: they lost power on the main floor. boss: that's not so bad. dilbert: the employees were scared. boss: they'll get over it. dilbert: one of them tripped in the dark. boss: big deal. dilbert: he accidentally opened a gas line. boss: a little gas never hurt anyone. dilbert: now there's a crater where the capital city used to be. boss and dilbert just looking at each other boss: let's keep an eye on that.

Dilbert Hates Safety

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Hates Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #safety, #anger, #yelling, #statistics, #flaw, #authority, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: your method of calculating the safety statistics is flawed. monkey man: wow. wait until i tell everyone you don't think safety matters. dilbert: i...didn't say that. i'm talking about the way you measured it. monkey man yelling: it's too late to walk it back now! dilbert: i'm not "walking it back." i'm clarifying. monkey man: there's nothing to clarify, you hate safety. dilbert yelling and waving arms: stop putting words in my mouth!! i'm a better authority on what i think than you are!!! boss in hallway: what was all that yelling about? monkey man: dilbert thinks safety doesn't matter.

Stress Can Kill You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Stress Can Kill You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #coronavirus, #cortisol, #dead man walking, #depress, #fear, #immune, #increase, #scared, #social distancing, #system, #virus, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: you have nothing to fear from the coronavirus but fear itself. obviously, the fear will increase your cortisol levels and depress your immune system so the virus can finish you off. dilbert visually shaken: now i'm scared. dogbert pointing: dead man walking!