Sound The Same Comic Strips - Page 54

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565 Results for Sound The Same

View 531 - 540 results for sound the same comic strips. Discover the best "Sound The Same" comics from Dilbert.com.

Nodding Approval

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Nodding Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags co-workers, nodding, positive, reinforcement, repeat, boring, relationships

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dilbert: you have now made the same point nine times in a row while i sit here nodding. what will it take to make you stop repeating yourself? co-worker: you'll need to stop nodding in agreement. i'm addicted to positive reinforcement.

Startup Makes Drones With Guns

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Startup Makes Drones With Guns - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, danger, military, neighbor, sarcasm, technology, drones, machine guns

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boss: we bought a start-up that makes autonomous drones armed with machine guns. dilbert: for use by the military? boss: good idea. i hadn't thought of that. it's too dangerous for private use. dilbert: you sound just like my neighbor when he still had a gazebo.

Judging By Looks

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Judging By Looks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, interview, manager, judge, offensive, social media, nonesense

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boss: i'd like to offer you a job, but ten years ago you said something offensive on social media. interviewee: i'm not the same person i was ten years ago. you are judging me by the actions of someone who literally no longer exists. boss: i get your point, but if i go back to the old way of judging people by their looks, we still end up in the same place.

Dogbert Designs Headphones

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Dogbert Designs Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags design, business, headphones, maximum, customer, annoyance, charging, port, guess, incorrect, frustration, fit, customers, ship, user

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dogbert: i've designed these over-ear headphones for maximum customer annoyance. the charging port is only on one side, so the user has a fifty percent chance of guessing wrong. and the charger only fits if you put it right-side up. to increase the frustration, i made the plug look the same on both sides. best of all, the plug is so poorly designed that half the time it doesn't seem to fit, even when you put it in correctly. i made the headphones black, so you can't easily find the charger hole in low light. ninety percent of users will be cursing us every time they try to recharge. customers won't know any of this until after they purchase. boss: ship it.

No Handshaking

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No Handshaking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, filthy, hand, invisible, office workers, see, shake, virus

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dilbert: sorry, i no longer shake hands. i can practically see the viral load on that filthy paw of yours. office worker: you can't "see" a virus. virus sound coming from hand: hee-hee! that's how we getcha.

Asok Meditates

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Asok Meditates  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coffee, psychology, sarcasm, business, meditation, think, work, co-worker, technology, enlightenment

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asok: have you ever tried meditating? wally: sounds like a lot of work. asok: it is the opposite of work. all you have to do is sit in one place and think of nothing in particular. wally: can i drink coffee at the same time. asok: that is not recommended. wally: in other words, meditating is what i already do, but without the advantage of coffee? asok: perhaps you have already achieved enlightenment. wally: feels that way to me.

Noble Bad Data

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Noble Bad Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accurate, bad, business, data, heroic, managers & supervisors, noble, war

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boss's voice coming from monitor: is the data accurate? dilbert at desk looking at boss on video conference: you don't go to war with the data you need. you go to war with the data you have. boss: did you just make it sound noble to use bad data? dilbert: and heroic.

Version 2 Kills

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Version 2 Kills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, upgrade, software, technology, version, health, issue, nonsense

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wally with face mask giving presentation: according to our newest data, 100% of the people who upgraded to version 2.0 of our software died the same day. wally to boss: but we don't think it means anything because all of them had underlying health issues. boss: how did they all have underlying health issues? wally: version 1.0 had some rough edges too.

No Lunch With You

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No Lunch With You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags diseases, lunch, office workers, rejection, virus, pandemic, invitation, social distancing

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Dilbert: Would you like to join me for lunch? Woman: I don't even want to be in the same zip code as your diseased mouth. No offense. Dilbert: None taken.

Why Use Tests

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Why Use Tests - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags diseases, health & safety, medical, office workers, sarcasm, pandemic, virus, diagnose

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Dilbert: No face mask? Boss: I have antibodies for the virus. I'm pretty sure I had the virus last January when I had a throat tickle. Dilbert: I wonder why virus test kits exist when we can just ask people if they had it. Boss: I was wondering the same.