Managers Comic Strips - Page 55
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596 Results for Managers
View 541 - 550 results for managers comic strips. Discover the best "Managers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday December 25,
2020
Can't Tell When He Is Joking
Tags business, joking, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, employment, moon lighting, work, video conference
Transcript
dilbert, boss and asok in front of laptop on video conference call. voice from laptop: excuse me. i have to take a call from one of the other employers who also believes i work for them full time from home. boss to dilbert: i can't tell when he's joking. dilbert: that's probably for the best.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday December 28,
2020
Stapler Training
Tags business, managers & supervisors, training, planning, meeting, stapler, safety, mandatory, fight
Transcript
boss: dilbert, what have you accomplished since our planning meeting? dilbert: the planning meeting was this morning. all i've done since then is take a mandatory training class on stapler safety. boss: but now you're fresh and ready for the fight? dilbert: only if it's a stapler fight.
Tuesday December 29,
2020
Microwaving Fish
Tags managers & supervisors, microwave, fish, working from home, smell, rotting, corpse, cubicle
Transcript
boss on phone. boss: asok, you need to stop microwaving fish. i can't work with that smell in the air. asok on phone: i'm working from home. maybe you should check the cubicles for a rotting corpse. boss walking and thinking: maybe i'll let the janitor do that.
Sunday January 24,
2021
Bad Qualities Cancel Out
Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, qualities, character, cancel, micro-manage, lazy, backstabbing, brave, lie, credibility, believe, employees, success, manager, random, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: all of my bad qualities see to be canceling each other out. for example, i want to micro-manage my staff, bi=ut i'm too lazy. and i want to do some corporate backstabbing, but i'm not that brave. i enjoy lying, and i'd like to do more of it, but my credibility is so low that no one believes me. i want to mock my employees for their mistakes, but i don't understand enough about what they do to know when they are doing it wrong. i want to take credit for the successes of my employees, but i don't give them enough support to succeed. carol: our set just called. he says he is naming you the manager of the year. boss: he must be deeply uninformed. carol: yes, but he's also lazy, so he pocked you randomly.
Sunday January 31,
2021
Lazy People Are Efficient
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, efficient, projects, lazy, assignments, useful
Transcript
wally: they say the laziest employees are the best because they know how to be efficient. i don't think i get enough credit for all of my efficiency. boss: efficiency only matters if you are doing something useful. wally: you're the one who gives me my assignments. boss: i don't ask you to do anything useful because you are too lazy. wally: are the useful projects generally harder that the useless ones? boss: yes. wally: then i'd say the system is working.
Tuesday January 19,
2021
Boss Traveling Through Hot Spots
Tags airlines, business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, booking, flight, airline, coronavirus, die, Promotion, greedy, demise, reward
Transcript
boss: it seems you are booking all of my connecting flights in coronavirus hot spots. you do realize that if i die, you don't get promoted to my job, right? carol: i'm not greedy. your demise would be reward enough.
Wednesday January 27,
2021
Doing Nothing Is A Decision
Tags business, harsh, hate, lazy, managers & supervisors, progress, projects, sarcasm, technology
Transcript
boss with laptop and on video chat: wally, it seems that once again you have made no progress on any of your projects. wally: it looks that way from the outside but what you have to understand is that not doing something is also a decision. boss: i literally hate talking to you. wally: harsh.
Thursday January 28,
2021
Ted The First Gay And Disabled Person
Tags business ethics, managers & supervisors, business, disabled, token, gay, homosexual, celebrate, employment
Transcript
boss: ted, the company wants to celebrate you as the first disabled gay person to hold this job. ted: but... i'm neither gay nor disabled. boss: the celebration is next week, so you have plenty of time to fix that.
Friday January 29,
2021
Alice Needs A Snack
Monday February 01,
2021
Blaming The Last Manager
Tags business, managers & supervisors, wrong, fault, manager, inherited, problem, excellent, leadership
Transcript
boss: everything that went wrong this year was the fault of the prior manager. i inherited his problems. dilbert: but everything that went right was because of your excellent leadership? boss: no jumping ahead.


