Quiet Dumb Guy Comic Strips - Page 55

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556 Results for Quiet Dumb Guy

View 541 - 550 results for quiet dumb guy comic strips. Discover the best "Quiet Dumb Guy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Cause Of Unhappiness

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Cause Of Unhappiness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #happiness, #office workers, #research, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: I did a study of what makes people unhappy. It turns out that the primary cause of unhappiness is "other people". Alice: That's dumb. Dilbert: Said the other person.

Would It Look The Same

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Would It Look The Same  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #dumb, #smart

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Dilbert: Hypothetically, how would you know if I were dumber than you or much smarter? Because in both cases I would make choices that you wouldn't understand. Wouldn't it look the same to you? Boss: I don't enjoy talking to you.

Solves Too Few Problems

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Solves Too Few Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #proposal, #problems, #quitter

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boss: your proposed solution is dumb because it doesn't solve all of our problems. dilbert: there's no such thing as a solution that solves all our problems. maybe we should solve the ones we can solve? boss: you're coming off as a quitter

Need To Retrain

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Need To Retrain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #technology, #business, #office, #retrain, #proposal, #employees, #risk, #cost, #work

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boss: your idea is dumb because we'd have to retrain people dilbert: are you waiting for a plan with no costs, no work, and no risk? boss: yes, why are you holding that one back?

Time Travel By Printer

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Time Travel By Printer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #presentation, #technolgy, #molecular, #scan, #body, #brain, #time travel, #3d print, #meeting

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dilbert giving a presentation: i invented a device that can scan your body and brain at molecular level. now you can time travel by killing yourself and leaving instructions to 3d-print you back to life in the future when the technology is able. response: where will you find anyone dumb enough to test it? dilbert: have you ever attended a meeting at this company?

Humans Getting Wiser

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Humans Getting Wiser - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #psychology, #humans, #dumb, #selfish, #wise, #interact, #people

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dilbert: the more i interact with people, the less i like them. i can't tell if i'm getting wiser or humans are becoming dumber and more selfish. dogbert: humans couldn't get any dumber or more selfish. dilbert: so, you're saying i'm getting wiser?

Upgrade Schedule

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Upgrade Schedule - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #vendor, #network, #upgrade, #allocating, #technology

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vendor: we should be able to finish the network upgrade in about three months. dilbert: when you bid for the job. you said it would take thirty days. vendor: if we're allocating blame. i'm not the one who was dumb enough to believe me.

What Is The Bra

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 What Is The Bra - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2020's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #business, #risk, #assessment, #mock, #teamwork, #acronym

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office worker: what's the b.r.a. on that? dilbert: jus? office worker: you look dumb in front of everyone for not knowing b.r.a. stands for business risk assessment. we'll probably mock you behind your back. dilbert talking to the boss: i don't think your teamwork exercises are working.

Dilbert Did Not Say That

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Dilbert Did Not Say That  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #boss, #prototype, #authority, #idiot, #liar, #innocent, #guilty

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co-worker: why did you tell our pointy-haired boss we need to do more testing on the prototype? dilbert: i didn't do anything of the sort. co-worker: carl says you did. dilbert: who is a better authority on what i said - a guy who wasn't in the room or me? co-worker: good question. on one hand, carl is an idiot and a known liar. on the other hand, it is common for guilty people to say they are innocent. dilbert: what do innocent people say when you accuse them of stuff? co-worker: who knows? just do't do it again. dilbert under distress: i didn't do it once!!!

Stopping Theft Everywhere

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Stopping Theft Everywhere - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2020's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #business, #technology, #system, #reduce, #theft, #dumb, #product

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dilbert: and by using this system, we will drastically reduce theft. co-worker: that's the dumbest think i have ever heard. no one can stop theft everywhere in the world. dilbert: i said we would reduce it, not eliminate it. and only for our own products. co-worker: so, in other words, it won't work. dilbert: it works to reduce theft. co-worker: but you admit there will be theft. dilbert standing and yelling: what is wrong with you???? co-worker: hey, i'm not the one who is in favor of theft.