Ceo Comic Strips - Page 55
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627 Results for Ceo
View 541 - 550 results for CEO comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 16,
2017
Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company
Tags research, truth, accuracy, lying, market research, yes-man, science
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm the CEO of Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company. My services cost less than regular research because all I do is tell you whatever you want to hear. CEO: Is that defensible? Dogbert: I'm sensing you want a yes on that.
Monday August 28,
2017
Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks
Tags rich people, money, stock market, investments, out of touch, obliviousness, stratification
Transcript
CEO: Hey, our stock is up two percent. I just made more money than you'll earn in your entire life. Remind me, do I leave you a tip?
Wednesday September 06,
2017
Robot Is Too Smart
Tags robot, automation, power, managers, intelligence, ai, artificial intelligence
Transcript
Boss: Our new robot is too smart. It keeps threatening humans into doing its job while it does nothing but drink coffee. CEO: Isn't that all you do? Boss: I don't like where this is heading.
Friday September 08,
2017
Robots In Management
Tags managers, loopholes, robot, automation, murder, killing, productivity
Transcript
Boss: Our experiment with robots in management has been a success. Productivity is way up since they started killing the low-performing humans. CEO: But... that's murder. Boss: Only when humans do it. We found a loophole.
Sunday September 24,
2017
Tags rumor, conjecture, karma, payback
Transcript
Boss: I heard that you think I'm making the wrong decision with our technology roadmap. Dilbert: I never said that. Boss: I heard you did. Dilbert: Who told you that? Boss: I promised I wouldn't reveal my source. Dilbert: It never happened. Boss: That's not what I hear. Dilbert: Will the fate of my entire career depend on that rumor? Boss: It already does. Dilbert: Do you ever worry about karma? Boss: Get back to work. Narrator: One hour later. CEO: I hear you're embezzling like crazy. Boss: Who told you that?
Tuesday October 03,
2017
Dogbert The Pr Specialist
Tags public relations, image, likeability, pr, deception
Transcript
Narrator: Dogbert the public relations specialist. Dogbert: The public hates you for all the right reasons. I'll repair your public image by photographing you serving meals in a homeless shelter. CEO: Is the public really that dumb? Dogbert: Yup. I'll have you out of there in two scoops and a click.
Wednesday October 04,
2017
Can We Borrow An Apron
Tags pr, public relations, appearances, homeless, soup kitchen, shelter
Transcript
Dogbert: We're here to get a photo of my client serving food to the homeless. Man: We don't need any help. Dogbert: In that case, can we borrow an apron and a spoon? Man: Um... I guess so. Dogbert: And can you wipe some gruel on the apron?
Thursday October 05,
2017
Pictures Lie
Tags photos, truth, lying, deceit, photoshop, public relations, pr, appearances
Transcript
CEO: The public doesn't believe I really helped serve food at the homeless shelter. Dogbert: Tell them pictures don't lie. CEO: Pictures lie all the time. In fact, that's the best way to lie. Dogbert: Keep that insight to yourself. CEO: I have a full head of hair on Tinder.
Friday October 06,
2017
Ceo Uses Dating App
Tags dating, app, technology, tinder, match, cheating, adultery, eskimo brothers, relationships
Transcript
CEO: I love this dating app. Wally: I thought you were married. CEO: I'm just looking. What's the worst thing that could happen? CEO: Hey, what's my wife doing on here? Wally: Your wife/?? That's my girlfriend!
Saturday November 11,
2017
Wally Presents To Board
Tags stealth, invisibility, naked, surprise, hiding, camoflage
Transcript
Boss: I want you to present your stealth clothing prototype to our board. Wally: Are you sure? Boss: Of course I'm sure. CEO: I thought we were trying to make the person invisible. Wally: Then why is it called stealth "clothing?"


