Ceo Comic Strips - Page 55

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

627 Results for Ceo

View 541 - 550 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags research, truth, accuracy, lying, market research, yes-man, science

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm the CEO of Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company. My services cost less than regular research because all I do is tell you whatever you want to hear. CEO: Is that defensible? Dogbert: I'm sensing you want a yes on that.

Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rich people, money, stock market, investments, out of touch, obliviousness, stratification

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Hey, our stock is up two percent. I just made more money than you'll earn in your entire life. Remind me, do I leave you a tip?

Robot Is Too Smart

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Is Too Smart - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, automation, power, managers, intelligence, ai, artificial intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new robot is too smart. It keeps threatening humans into doing its job while it does nothing but drink coffee. CEO: Isn't that all you do? Boss: I don't like where this is heading.

Robots In Management

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robots In Management - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, loopholes, robot, automation, murder, killing, productivity

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our experiment with robots in management has been a success. Productivity is way up since they started killing the low-performing humans. CEO: But... that's murder. Boss: Only when humans do it. We found a loophole.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rumor, conjecture, karma, payback

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I heard that you think I'm making the wrong decision with our technology roadmap. Dilbert: I never said that. Boss: I heard you did. Dilbert: Who told you that? Boss: I promised I wouldn't reveal my source. Dilbert: It never happened. Boss: That's not what I hear. Dilbert: Will the fate of my entire career depend on that rumor? Boss: It already does. Dilbert: Do you ever worry about karma? Boss: Get back to work. Narrator: One hour later. CEO: I hear you're embezzling like crazy. Boss: Who told you that?

Dogbert The Pr Specialist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert The Pr Specialist  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags public relations, image, likeability, pr, deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert the public relations specialist. Dogbert: The public hates you for all the right reasons. I'll repair your public image by photographing you serving meals in a homeless shelter. CEO: Is the public really that dumb? Dogbert: Yup. I'll have you out of there in two scoops and a click.

Can We Borrow An Apron

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Can We Borrow An Apron  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pr, public relations, appearances, homeless, soup kitchen, shelter

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: We're here to get a photo of my client serving food to the homeless. Man: We don't need any help. Dogbert: In that case, can we borrow an apron and a spoon? Man: Um... I guess so. Dogbert: And can you wipe some gruel on the apron?

Pictures Lie

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pictures Lie  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags photos, truth, lying, deceit, photoshop, public relations, pr, appearances

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The public doesn't believe I really helped serve food at the homeless shelter. Dogbert: Tell them pictures don't lie. CEO: Pictures lie all the time. In fact, that's the best way to lie. Dogbert: Keep that insight to yourself. CEO: I have a full head of hair on Tinder.

Ceo Uses Dating App

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Ceo Uses Dating App  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, app, technology, tinder, match, cheating, adultery, eskimo brothers, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I love this dating app. Wally: I thought you were married. CEO: I'm just looking. What's the worst thing that could happen? CEO: Hey, what's my wife doing on here? Wally: Your wife/?? That's my girlfriend!

Wally Presents To Board

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Presents To Board - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stealth, invisibility, naked, surprise, hiding, camoflage

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to present your stealth clothing prototype to our board. Wally: Are you sure? Boss: Of course I'm sure. CEO: I thought we were trying to make the person invisible. Wally: Then why is it called stealth "clothing?"