Employees Comic Strips - Page 55
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Character
580 Results for Employees
View 541 - 550 results for employees comic strips. Discover the best "Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 10,
2019
Need To Retrain
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday October 11,
2019
Lack Of Strategy
Tags managers & supervisors, strategy, business, company, employees, nothing
Transcript
dilbert: once again, it seems you accomplished absolutely nothing this week wally: no on will tell me our company's strategy, so anything i did would be random flailing boss: a lack of strategy isn't keeping anyone else from working wally: but shouldn't it?
Sunday October 13,
2019
Performance Versus Pay
Tags angry, big business, employees, irritation, managers & supervisors, money, salary
Transcript
Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.
Sunday October 20,
2019
Bad News I Can't Tell You
Tags angry, employees, frustrated, news, office workers
Transcript
Carol: I have bad news. Dilbert: What is it? Carol: I'll tell you later. Dilbert: Why can't you tell me now? Carol: I don't want to start and then get interrupted if someone comes in the room. Dilbert: How bad is the news? Carol: It's bad. Very bad. Dilbert: You're making me crazy, how can I relax knowing some terrible news is out there? Don't tell me you have bad news if you aren't going to tell me what it is!!! Wally: What did I miss? Dilbert: I don't know!
Tuesday October 22,
2019
Best Employees
Tags employees, managers & supervisors, best, office workers, industry, attitude
Transcript
boss: we have the best employees in the entire industry. except for ted obviously. ted: wait...what? boss: and here comes the attitude.
Monday December 16,
2019
How Long It Will Take
Tags business, assignment, deadline, incompetence, meeting, co-workers, months
Transcript
boss: can you have it done in a week? dilbert: not if i have to work with other employees. given the galactic incompetence of my co-workers, it would probably take seven to non months. boss: i'll give you two weeks. dilbert: that's how long it will take to set up the first meeting.
Friday January 03,
2020
Incompetent Employees
Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, business, bureaucratic, employees, incompetent, inefficiency, yin, yang
Transcript
catbert: it might my imagination, but it looks as if all of our employees are incompetent. boss: we need to create a tangle of bureaucratic rules that make it impossible for them to get anything done. catbert: you want to use inefficiency to protect us against incompetence? boss: yin and yang.
Wednesday January 15,
2020
Violating Rules
Tags managers & supervisors, rules, business, audit, employees, company
Transcript
boss: our internal audit found that you violated over four hundred company rules in the past year. dilbert: i'm also the only employee who accomplished anything last year. now connect the dots. boss: so you're saying we need more rules.
Sunday February 09,
2020
Making World Better Place
Tags managers & supervisors, business, money, meeting, employees, taxes, cancer, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: i don't want employees who are only working for the money. i want employees who are working to make the world a better place. dilbert: how does working here make the world a better place? half of our products cause cancer, and the other half don't work at all. wally: we don't even pay taxes. one could argue that every day we spend working here makes the planet a little bit worse. boss: is that why i never see you doing any work? wally: when did it become a crime to care about people? sheesh!
Saturday February 22,
2020
Self Actualization
Tags employees, managers & supervisors, business, work, talk, listen, self-actualized
Transcript
dilbert: i work every day, and yet i am not feeling completely self-actualized. boss: what's that mean? dilbert: i don't know. it's something i heard. boss: why are we even talking about it? dilbert: because the more i talk, the less i have to listen to you.


