New Product Comic Strips - Page 55
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1000 Results for New Product
View 541 - 550 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 14,
2001
Tags four hundred features, level of complexity, easy to use
Transcript
Dilbert is talking to a worker. Holding a list, Dilbert says, "Your user requirements include four hundred features." Dilbert continues, "Do you realize that no human would be able to use a product with that level of complexity?" The worker says, "Good point. I'd better add 'easy to use' to the list."
Wednesday April 18,
2001
Tags evil robot, annihilates the galaxy, worst means
Transcript
A male co-worker asks Dilbert, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Dilbert says, "Our beta product could turn into an evil robot that annihilates the galaxy." Approaching Dogbert, Dilbert says, "Apparently I don't know what 'worst' means."
Sunday April 29,
2001
Tags slump, make changes, management style, paternal, new management style, we hate employees, volunteer, nineties, kick off, kick intern, bent over
Transcript
The boss addressing Wally and Dilbert says, "Our industry is in a slump. We need to make changes." Pointing to a slide of Asok being handed an ice-cream cone, the boss says, "Our current mangement style could be described as paternal." Pointing to a slide of a man getting kicked, the boss says, "Our new management style doesn't have a name yet." Asok, waving his arm, says, "Ooh ooh! I have a suggestion." Asok continues, "The new management style could be called 'We hate our employees.'" The boss says, "Not bad." The boss says, "I need a volunteer to help with the 'Back to the nineties' kick-off." Asok bends over preparing to be kicked as he asks, "How is this like the nineties?" The boss, about to kick, says, "Stop wiggling."
Sunday May 06,
2001
Tags new guy, cheese, parmesan cheese, truck loads, offer, world o cheese exhibit, weird obsession, cheese obsession, cheeseboy, wally leather, leather products
Transcript
The Boss enters Dilbert's cubicle with a new employee, The Too Helpful Guy. Dilbert and the Too Helpful Guy shake hands. The Too Helpful Guy asks, "Do you like cheese, Dilbert?" Dilbert answers, "Um...Yes, I guess so." The Boss leaves and Too Helpful Guy continues, "I'll send two truckloads of parmesan cheese to your house!" Dilbert replies, "Thanks...But I don't need that much cheese." Too Helpful Guy replies, "Message Received!" He continues, "I'll send you some bread and a fondue set too." The Too Helpful Guy holds out two slips of paper and Dilbert stares at them. The Too Helpful Guy says, "Here are two tickets to the World-O-Cheese exhibit in Wisconsin." The Too Helpful Guy continues, saying, "Your new nickname will be 'Cheeseboy' to reflect your weird obsession." Wally enters the cubicle and says to Too Helpful Guy, "Hi. I'm Wally." Too Helpful Guy holds out his hand and asks, "Wally, do you like leather products?"
Tuesday May 22,
2001
Tags bait and switch, first and third wives, invited for drinks, men vs women, pretext, tricked, undertsand
Transcript
Alice approaches the Boss' desk and says, "A vendor invited me for drinks. It's the only time he has to talk about his product." The Boss says, "He's using the old bait-lube-and-switch trick. That's how I met my first and third wives." Alice replies, "I don't understand." The Boss says, "That's why it works."
Wednesday May 23,
2001
Tags bar, burp, chug chardonnay, drinks, drunk, drunkards, gross, guzzled, hit on, pig, scene, sloshed, slurred words, strictly business, business man, date, animals
Transcript
Alice and a businessman sit at a bar. Alice says, "This is strictly business, right? We're going to talk about your company's product." The businessman raises his glass to Alice and says, "I bet I can drink for chardonnay than you can." Later, Alice's hair is completely dishevelled and both Alice and the businessman are slumped in their chairs, totally drunk. Alice says, "You're a hanshum man and so ish your twin bruver." The business man burps loudly.
Friday May 25,
2001
Tags boyfreind, project, turtlenecks, jeans, fish, training for marathins, cry at movies, the boyfriend project, makeover, clothes, body, animals
Transcript
Caption reads: "The Boyfriend Project." Alice hands her boyfriend clothing and says, "I'm putting you in turtlenecks and jeans." As the boyfriend changes into his new clothing, Alice continues, "You don't like to fish anymore. Now you're training for marathons." The boyfriend begins to wail, screaming, "WHAA! WHAA!" Alice replies, "You can only cry at movies."
Monday May 28,
2001
Tags incredulous ed, inventing words, what?!, answers with questions, annoying, new hire, dumb guy
Transcript
The Boss brings a new employee to introduce to Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to meet incredulous Ed." The Boss continues, "No matter what question you ask him, he'll act as if you are inventing words." Dilbert turns to Ed and asks, "Do you have a family?" Ed replies, "Do I have a WHAT??"
Tuesday May 29,
2001
Tags incredulous ed, budget numbers, request, coworker, budget manager, hard time, over reacts, ed, new hire
Transcript
Caption reads: "Incredulous Ed." Alice approaches Ed and asks, "Ed, do you have the latest budget numbers?" Ed looks up at Alice, squinting his eyes and gesturing, "Budget??? What is a 'budget' and why on earth would I have one?" Alice replies, "Because you're the budget manager." Ed hands her a piece of paper and says, "Here you go."
Sunday June 03,
2001
Tags save money, firings, consultants, flossie, highly technical work, invitation, shake hands, greeting ritual, brain overload, raise rates, over reacts, dumb woman, lost, freak, new hire
Transcript
The Boss comes into Brian's cubicle and says, "I'm sorry, Brian. I have to fire all my consultants to save money." Brian turns to the Boss and asks, "Who will do your highly technical work?" The Boss brings in a woman and says to Brian, "You can transfer all your knowledge to Flossie." Brian holds out his hand to shake hands and says, "Hi." Flossie grips a pencil in her hand and says, "What's with the hand? Do you want to borrow my pencil?" Brian replies, "Um...no. This is an invitation to shake hands. It's a greeting ritual." Flossie grabs her head and shouts, "OUCH!! Brain overload!! It's too much information!!" Flossie puts both hands on either side of her head and repeats, "Purge! Purge! Purge!" Flossie stares at Brian blankly and says calmly, "Where am I?" Brian thinks to himself, "I need to raise my rates."


