Catbert Comic Strips - Page 55
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655 Results for Catbert
View 541 - 550 results for Catbert comic strips. Discover the best "Catbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 03,
1999
Tags designing call center, eployees, bathroom breaks, tiny cubicles, monitor calls, speed, customer service
Transcript
Designing a Call Center Catbert: Give the employees six minutes of bathroom breaks per shift. The Boss: Tiny cubicles and we'll monitor calls and have incompatible objectives such as speed and customer service. = Wally: Hows the project going? Dilbert: Im still collecting the abuser requirements.
Friday October 15,
1999
Tags compensation, manage, career as director, conpsiracy, incompetent emplyees
Transcript
Catbert stands on The Bosses desk and says, "Your compensation is related to the number of people you manage." Catbert says, "Likewise, my career as director of human resources depends on the quantity of employees." Alice and Dilbert look at a group of dumb people. Alice says, "It's as if there were a conspiracy to hire hordes of incompetent employees."
Thursday October 07,
1999
Tags ruin career, upstart embryo, replaces me, volunteers, give constructive criticism, human resources, don't like attitude, business
Transcript
Wally stares at the embryo on the desk. Wally thinks, "I'd better ruin the career of this upstart embry before he replaces me." Catbert arrives at the cubicle and says, "I need volunteers to give constructive criticism to human resources." Catbert walks down the hall holding the embryo. Catbert says, "I don't like your attitude."
Saturday September 25,
1999
Tags evil director, Catbert, sick days, unusual reasons, imagined to be fly, hair, crazy reasons, made up reason, fake excuses
Transcript
CAption: "CAtbert: Evil H.R. Director" CAtbert says, "Wally, you've taken sick days for unusual reasons." Catbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "For example, one day you got sick because you "...accidently imagined what ir would be like if you were a fly." Catbert says, "And today it's your hair?" Wally says, "I lathered and rinsed but I don't remember repeating."
Saturday September 04,
1999
Tags Catbert, evil director, reduce airline expense, weed out dumb ones, sprint across runway, cling to plane, takeoff
Transcript
Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert types, "To reduce airline travel expenses..." Dilbert reads, "Sprint across the runway and cling to plane during takeoff." Catbert thinks, "That will weed out the dumb ones."
Monday August 30,
1999
Tags Catbert, evil director, promote, from within, yanking your chain, hiring from outside, you're so smart
Transcript
Caption:"Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert sits at a desk across from Asok. Catbert says, "We like to promote from within the company Asok." Catbert says, "But what we like even more is yanking your chain and the hiring from outside!" Catbert say, "Explain why you work here if you're so smart." Asok says, "I'm timid."
Saturday August 21,
1999
Tags cat bert, evil, eliminate traces, individuality, computer wallpaper, helium
Transcript
Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert types, "In order to eliminate all traces of individuality..." Dilbert reads, "All computer wallpaper must be the same." Dilbert thinks, "What next?" Catbert thinks, "In theory, with helium, the employees would all sound alike."
Friday August 20,
1999
Tags Catbert, evil, better job, agreement, industry, cripes, dance on head
Transcript
Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert leans over the cubicle wall of a bearded man. Catbert says, "So you think you're leaving for a better job?" The man says, "Yes." Catbert says, "Your agreement with us bans you from working in this industry if you quit. Ha!" Catbert dances on the man's head. Catbert says, "Holy cripes! It DOES say you can dance on my head." Catbert says, "Hold still."
Friday July 23,
1999
Tags Catbert, evil director, shooting credenza, tina was bad, card board, special hat, suspended, sentence
Transcript
Caption: "Catbert"evil hr Director" Tina sits in catbert's office. Catbert says, "Tina, you are accused of shooting the CIO's credenza five times." Catbert scribbles with a pencil on a piece of paper and says, "I'm writing "Tina was bad" on this cardboard. I order you to attach it to a special hat for two weeks." Tina wears a hat with a stick that hangs over her head. The sign hangs off the stick. Dilbert says, "How did it go?" Tina says, "I got a suspended sentence."
Saturday June 26,
1999
Tags Catbert, evil, director, use the science, determine potential, riding proudly, mighty thoroughbred horse, jockey, saddle
Transcript
Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. director" Catbert says, to Wally, "I will now use the science of facereading to dtermine your potential." CAtbert shines a flash light at Wally's face. Catbert says, "I see your face riding proudly atop a mighty thoroughbred horse." Wally says, "Jockey?" Catbert says, "Saddle."

