Asok Comic Strips - Page 55

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964 Results for Asok

View 541 - 550 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags friendship, managers & supervisors, netwrok, career, weird and creepy, send email, best friend, relationships, business

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Asok: Would you mind if I network with you to help my career? Boss: I would have said yes, but you made it feel all weird and creepy. Perhaps you could send me email that I won't read. Asok: That makes you my best friend!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, stress

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Asok: I am always tense and I don't know why. Wally: It's the tyranny of expectations, Asok. People still expect you to add value. Competence is a vicious cycle. Asok: Can you teach me to be useless like you? Wally: It's better if I don't so you can learn by example.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, not caring what others think, total uslessness, key to success, discussion, employees, hoping it goes, business

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Wally: Asok, the key to success is not caring what others think of you. Coincidentally, that is also the key to being totally useless. The important thing is that other people can't tell which way you're hoping it goes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, executives, beat earnings, analysts expected, make mistakes, bad estinates, mislead

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CEO: You should be proud that we beat the earnings that analysts expected. Dilbert: Why should we be proud that analysts are bad at making estimates? CEO: Those bad estimated don't happen on their own. I had to mislead them. Asok: I'm proud of you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, learn from coworkers, busy worers, request, no one helps, learning, business

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Boss: Asok, the best way to advance your career is by learning as much as you can from co-workers. Asok: Can you show me what you are doing? Alice: Come back in ten years when I'm not busy. Asok: No one will help me learn anything. Boss: You learned that!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human resources, intern, interns, Promotion, promotions, no career path, internship, business

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Asok: Is it my imagination or is there no career path here from intern to anything else? Catbert: If we promote you, we just have to find another intern. No one wins in that scenario. Asok: Actually, I would be the winner in that scenario. Catbert: I've never thought of it that way and I don't like it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coaching, deception, laziness, mentor, mentoring, strategy, work ethic, taper, key to winning, new job, long hours, good first impression, taker off, working smarter

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Wally: Asok, the key to winning at your job is the taper. Asok: Taper? Wally: At the start of any new job, you want to put in long hours and create a good first impression. Then you should start to gradually taper off your effort. But be sure you taper slowly. You don't want to be obvious. Boss: Wally, is it my imagination, or are you working slightly less every day? Wally: It only looks that way because I'm working smarter, not harder. Just the way you taught me. Boss: Okay, that sounds right. Wally: Always keep that round in the chamber. Asok: You scare me, but in a good way.

Technical Analysis

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Technical Analysis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, bad advice, investing, stock market, stocks, squirrel sitting, clown shoulder, technical analysis, money

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Lessons in Investing. Boss: You should buy a stock whenever the chart looks like a squirrel sitting on a clown's shoulder. That's called "technical analysis." Asok: I'm not going to do that. Boss: Good. Because it doesn't work if everyone does it.

Everyone Can Beat The Market Average

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Everyone Can Beat The Market Average - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, bad advice, investing, investor, stock market, stock reserch, money

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Boss: Asok, you can beat market averages by doing your own stock research. Asok: So... you believe every investor can beat the average by reading the same information? Boss: Yes. Asok: Makes you wonder why more people don't do it. Boss: Just lazy, I guess.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags distraction, distractions, frustration, futility, meeting, meetings, stress, walk, walking, phone calls, email, Sports, business

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Boss: Let's have our meeting while we take a walk. Dilbert: Absolutely. Shall I expect the usual? Boss: The usual? Dilbert: The first five minutes will be nothing but you trying to find your phone. Then you'll need to return some calls "real quick," then send an email before we leave. On the way to the elevator we will be accosted by every employee you've been avoiding for a week. Then you'll invite one of them to walk with us, which means we can't talk about my project. But it doesn't matter because you'll be on your phone the entire walk anyway. Asok: Did you know that walking lowers stress? Dilbert: Does it?!!