Better Products Comic Strips - Page 55

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

631 Results for Better Products

View 541 - 550 results for better products comic strips. Discover the best "Better Products" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok Not A Terrorist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Not A Terrorist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #terrorist, #terrorism, #extremism, #frustration, #racism, #accusation, #accuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you threaten to kill Dick? Asok: He accused me of being a terrorist! Boss: Are you? Asok: Gaaa! I just want to blow up this whole building! Boss: Um... I need to make a call. Asok: It better not be about me!

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Trapped Under Rubble

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Trapped Under Rubble - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #freedom, #guest artist, #happiness, #job, #misery, #satisfaction, #john glynn, #business, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I miss the freedom I had as an Uber driver. This job feels like being trapped under rubble. Wally: We old-timers have a name for that feeling. Asok: What is it? Wally: "Better than average."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #managers, #training, #obstacle, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I take a class to improve my communication skills? Boss: What are you talking about? Dilbert: I want to take a class that teaches me how to communicate better. Boss: I don't understand what you're asking me. Dilbert: I am asking permission to take a class to help me communicate better. Boss: I see your lips moving but I can't figure out what you're asking. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! There's no way to get there from here! Boss: I'm glad I took that management class on how to not listen. It already paid off.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #honesty, #competition, #criticism

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why are our competitors beating us on the benchmark speed tests? Do they have better engineers? Dilbert: No, they have better management. Their management probably got them the budget they needed to do the job right. I"m guessing they were helpful, instead of being useless, blamecasting time-wasters. I hear you can do a lot when you have good management. I'll probably try to get a job with a competitor. They sound great. It is also possible they lied about their benchmark results. Boss: You should have said that first!

The Science Of Astrology

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Science Of Astrology - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Astrology, #metaphysics, #science, #planning, #sign, #zodiac, #pseudoscience

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I'll need to know your astrological sign before I put you on his schedule. In the old days, I just gave people the first available slot. It was chaos. Dilbert: So now you use the science of astrology? Carol: It's better than science. It's an art.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #overanalyzing, #asking out, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Do you want to go to dinner and a movie with me on Friday? Dilbert: That plan is poorly conceived. The best time to watch a movie is also the best time to eat. And what are the odds we want to see the same movie? You're a picky eater, so it would be a nightmare to decide where we both want to eat. One of us would have to compromise, and I assume it would be me. I'm offended by your offer to suboptimize my Friday experience. Woman: Do you have a better option? Dilbert: Nope. See you Friday.

Managing Your Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Managing Your Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #accountability, #blame, #time, #time management

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your project is three weeks behind schedule. Dilbert: That's the exact amount of time I was waiting for you to answer my questions. Boss: You need to manage me better. Dilbert: Okay, you're fired.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #machines, #robot, #control, #emotions, #free will, #slave, #cell phone, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The robot will be sitting in for me when I'm on vacation. Dilbert: You can't have a robot in charge of humans! Robot: I got this. I see you own a mobile phone. Dilbert: So? Robot: Then you are already a slave to a machine. Dilbert: No, I'm not! Phone: Ping! Robot: You can prove you have free will by not looking at that message. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! You're already better than our human boss!

Block Of Wood Is In A Bad Mood

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Block Of Wood Is In A Bad Mood - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ai, #artificial intelligence, #scam, #gullible, #emotions, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I heard you invented a device with human intelligence and human emotions. Can I ask it a question? Wally: It's in a bad mood. It's not talking. CEO: Wow! It's just like people! Wally: You'd better leave before you make it cry.

Phone Better Than Human

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Phone Better Than Human - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #distraction, #human, #conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

Alan: Everything went wrong for me this week. I have problems... all kinds of problems. Dilbert: For the zillionth time in a row, my phone is more fun than talking to a human.