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Boring And Needy Children

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Boring And Needy Children - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #parents, #mother, #interview, #children, #annoyance, #work-life balance, #Family

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Boss: Do you enjoy spending time with your children? Woman: No, they're boring and needy. They can't even hold a conversation. If I'm being honest, I prefer working long hours so I see less of them. Boss: Perfect. You're hired. Woman: I mean, I love them, but I don't like them.

How Dare You

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How Dare You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2018's comic on:


Tags #offended, #offense, #accusation, #strategy

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Wally: My new defense against every accusation is to be offended by the question. Dilbert: That works? Wally: Depends how hard I sell it. Woman: Why haven't you returned any of my emails? Wally: How dare you!

No Path To Victory

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No Path To Victory - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2018's comic on:


Tags #catch-22, #laziness, #request

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Woman: Do you have a minute? Wally: Can I get back to you? Woman: If I say yes, I will never hear from you. But if I say no, I'll look like a pushy jerk. I don't see a path to victory here. Wally: Have you tried lowering your expectations?

How About Lunch

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How About Lunch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2018's comic on:


Tags #dating, #flirting, #rejection, #relationships, #obliviousness

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Dilbert: Would you like to have a drink after work? Woman: I don't drink. Dilbert: How about lunch? Woman: I also don't eat. Do you see a pattern yet? Dilbert: You're an android?

How Dilbert Can Help

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How Dilbert Can Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #project, #criticism, #option, #boss, #worthless

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Dilbert: How can I help you on your project? Woman Employee: I'll send you my files and you can do all of my work while I criticize you behind your back. Dilbert: Is there another option? Woman Employee: Yes, it' involves telling your boss you're worthless.

Resistance Is Futile

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Resistance Is Futile - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #invention, #thoughts, #computer, #commands, #individual, #part, #collective, #internet, #sexy, #resistance, #futile

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Dilbert: My invention can read my thoughts and turn them into computer commands. I'm no longer an individual. Now I'm part of the collective internet mind. Woman: That is the least sexy thing I have ever heard. Dilbert:

Social Media Ads To Influence

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Social Media Ads To Influence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #brain-reading, #computer, #social media, #profile, #friends, #testing, #influence, #cyborg, #ridiculous, #phone

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Dilbert: My brain-reading computer is checking your social media profile and finding your friends. I am now testing social media posts to see which ones influence them to recommend that to you date a cyborg. Woman: That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever. Dilbert: check your phone.