Go On Safari Comic Strips - Page 55

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

635 Results for Go On Safari

View 541 - 550 results for go on safari comic strips. Discover the best "Go On Safari" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #wifi, #wi-fi, #internet, #coffee shop, #public, #privacy, #security, #technology, #cyber security, #password, #identity, #identity theft, #passwords

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Yay, you have wi-fi! Now I can drink overpriced coffee while strangers steal my passwords. The timing is sort of a coincidence. Because I was just wondering what would be the fastest way to lose everything I own. And this fixes one of my other big problems too... I always want to share my browser history with strangers, and now I can! By the way, I'm Dilbert. Elbonian: I was Gropnorb, but now I go by Fred. Dilbert: Did a guy named Fred use your wi-fi? Elbonian: Right after he under-tipped.

Tina Can't Compete With Smartphone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Tina Can't Compete With Smartphone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #distraction, #attention, #technology, #stimulation, #frustration, #smart phone, #cell phone, #social, #socialization, #etiquette & ethics, #social skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I want to go to lunch. Dilbert: I don't see how that can work. Your conversation skills can't compete with the stimulation I can get from my smartphone and my smartwatch. Tina: I would scowl at you if I could get your attention. Dilbert: Ooh!

Hire Smarter People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hire Smarter People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2015's comic on:


Tags #leadership, #success, #insult, #power, #compliment, #backhanded compliment, #ego, #humility, #humble

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The secret to my success is that I hire people who are smarter than me. And then I tell those smart people exactly what to do. It keeps you humble. Dilbert: Good, because all of this was starting to go to my head.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2015's comic on:


Tags #technology, #unemployment, #replacement, #obsolete, #app, #job, #jobs, #dating, #logic, #business, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: ...and that's what I do for a living. What do you do? Dilbert: I'm building an app that will make your entire industry obsolete. I'm almost done. It looks pretty good. Woman: You're destroying my life! Dilbert: No, I'm only making the app. The app will be destroying your life. Woman: This got awkward, but I'm attracted to smart men, so... would you like to go out this weekend? Dilbert: I don't think that's a good idea. I can't get past your dead-end career.

Dilbert Goes To Jail

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Goes To Jail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #guilt, #innocence, #cyborg, #crime, #criminal, #fair, #fairness, #punishment, #jail, #responsibility

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You're arresting me for killing Ted, but a bug in my cyborg components made me do it. If I go to jail, you will remove the cyborg parts that caused the trouble and punish the organic parts of me that are innocent. Police Officer: It's funny when you put it that way.

Boss's Charisma Inspires Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss's Charisma Inspires Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #technology, #text, #texting, #distraction, #shout, #diversion, #charm, #excitement, #cheer

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: (types on his phone). Wally: Go team! Can you turn down your charisma? I can barely sit still over here.

I Would Never Ask You To Lie

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
I Would Never Ask You To Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #sales personnel, #lying, #sales, #ethics, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Stop being honest when you go on sales calls. Dilbert: You want me to lie? Boss: I would never ask you to lie. I'm asking you to nod your head and smile while our salesperson lies.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #quality, #work ethic, #deadlines, #expectations, #speed, #trade off

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When will you have that done? Dilbert: Two weeks. Boss: Can you do it faster? Dilbert: Yes. All I need to do is lower the quality. Dilbert: Tell me what your minimum acceptable quality level is and I'll tell you when you can have it. Boss: I want it in one week. Dilbert: I can do that at 50 percent of planned quality. Boss: Why does it feel as if I'm not really managing anything here? Dilbert: Maybe you could go manage someone else now. Boss: I can't tell if I'm doing my job now. Dilbert: Is it your job to prevent me from working?

Asok Has Tasted The Sweet Freedom Of Uber

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Has Tasted The Sweet Freedom Of Uber - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 29, 2016's comic on:


Tags #experience, #guest artist, #introspection, #john glynn, #wisdom

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Now that I have tasted the sweet freedom of being an Uber driver, how can I go back to this life? Wally: Try looking deep within yourself, Asok. Asok: You are even wiser than usual. Wally: You'll need a flashlight and yoga lessons.

Dogbert's Class Learns Nothing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Class Learns Nothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #strategy, #guest artist, #josh shipley

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The employees who took your class on negotiating are complaining that they learned nothing. Dogbert: I heart those same employees scheming to vandalize your network. Boss: Now that's all I can think about! How did you do that? Dogbert: Gotta go.