Job Comic Strips - Page 55

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View 541 - 550 results for job comic strips. Discover the best "Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employee orientation, where to start, busy, back, stress, website, technology

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First Day on the Job "Employee orientation was great! Now where do you want me to start!" "I'm kind of busy. Maybe you could look at our Web site and guess what you should be doing." "Gaaa!!! What happened to my back???" "Stress, you get used to it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags freeze n expenses, freeware version, readily available, coffee sipping, noises

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I couldn't buy the software I need to do my job because of your freeze on expenses. "And our I.S. policy says I can't use the freeware version that is readily available." "So I used the week to develop some new coffee-sipping noises."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags paying for consulting, no recommendations, feel secure, shaping strategies, hate you, feel good

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"I keep paying you for consulting, but you never make any recommendations." "I'm what you call a "feel good."" "My job is to make you feel secure in the knowledge that someone brilliant is shaping your strategies." "This is weird; I hate you, but at the same time I feel good." "You're welcome."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stealth layoff, evil director, human resources, worthless employees, job no longer exists, business

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I call it a stealth layoff." "We move all of the worthless employees to the same project. When it's done, we tell them that their jobs no longer exist." "I don't like the look of this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, the boss, asok, projects, new, challenge, tina, write, newsletter, worthless, assistant

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I have completed all of my projects and I am ready for a new challenge. "You can help Tina write the department newsletter." "But the newsletter job is only given to the most worthless employee." "And her assistant."

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Having two computers is a violation of the company's 5S rules of standardized workspace. "I need two computers to test my software. There's no way to do my job with one." "I have a compromise solution. Put this little red tag on one of them and tell me later if anything bad happens."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I didn't think it was possible, but for the past month I've done my own job plus Ted's, and done them well." "I know that you're marveling at my accomplishment and wondering how you can reward me." "Maybe I can fire Carl and make this idiot do his job too." "I'll be we're thinking of the same bonus amount!"

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Wally Interviews "The job doesn't have a base salary." "You'll pay us $1,000 per month and work from home. If you make any money for us, we'll give you 10%." "You're not allowed to have business cards. And you can't use our name." "Can I have a private office in my house?"

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"I have a job offer from another company, but I'll give you a chance to buy my loyalty." "Now I just sit back and let the loving begin." "And his opening offer is..." "That's right: Whack him in the parking lot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags unpleasant parts, free to concentrate, do startegy

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"I'd like to hire someone to do all of the unpleasant parts of my job." "That way I'll be free to concentrate on strategy." "Fair enough." "Secondly, I'd like to hire someone to do strategy."