Stop Meetings Comic Strips - Page 55

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

579 Results for Stop Meetings

View 541 - 550 results for stop meetings comic strips. Discover the best "Stop Meetings" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Email Password

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Email Password - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #competition, #email, #obliviousness, #security, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to find out who leaked our strategy to our competition. Alice: Is your email password still 123? Boss: Stop changing the subject.

Ai Can Control Minds

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ai Can Control Minds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #control, #intelligence, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: We've developed an A.I. with such strong persuasion skills it can control human minds. Dilbert: Obviously, we have to stop the project and destroy all of the code to prevent it from spreading. Man: The A.I. says I need to ignore you.

Company Cheer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Company Cheer  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #employees, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #corporations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new corporate owners want us to gather every morning to do the company cheer. Alice: I quit. Dilbert: I quit. Voice: I quit. Voice 2: I quit. Boss: That's not the company cheer. Dilbert: It is now.

Jargon

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Jargon - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confusion, #employees, #irritation, #language, #meetings, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: This was a great meeting. Are there any questions? Dilbert: I didn't understand any of the jargon you used for the past hour, so I have no idea what this meeting was about. Man: Why didn't you say something sooner? Dilbert: That's a good strategy for people who have hope.

Boxes With Names

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boxes With Names - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #office workers, #suspicious, #layoff

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The rumors of a major layoff are completely untrue. Dilbert: Why did the facilities management people just deliver a huge load of cardboard boxes to the break room? Boss: You can never have too many boxes. Dilbert: Why does every box have an employee name on it?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #construction, #inventions, #nature, #technology, #trees

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a cost-effective product to harvest CO2 from the air and turn it into construction material. Asok: So...you invented a tree? Dilbert: What? Asok: Trees take CO2 from the air and turn it into wood. Your invention will compete with plants and trees for necessary CO2. It seems you have doomed all life on Earth. Dilbert: Not if people act rationally and stop removing the CO2 when...wait... You're right. I doomed the planet. Boss: I'll be dead by then, so ship it.

Dumb Questions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dumb Questions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #insults, #meetings, #office, #office workers, #questions, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Let's brainstorm, and remember, there are no dumb questions, only dumb bosses. Boss: Was that necessary? Dilbert: I stand corrected: There is at least one dumb question.

Being Like A Man

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Being Like A Man - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advertising, #business, #criticism, #men and women, #relations between the sexes, #sales

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new advertising campaign is "Don't be like men." The ad starts with a montage of bad male behavior, from mansplaining to genocide. Then we show our product. Alice: Did a woman come up with this campaign? Boss: Stop being like a man.

Keyboard Clicks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Keyboard Clicks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #cell phone, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i noticed you have your keyboard click sounds activated. i've been listening to it all morning. the boss holding cell phone: i don't know how to make it stop. alice: i'll show you. frame shows outside of office building with phone being thrown out window.

Wally Slurps

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Slurps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #complaint, #office, #office workers, #soup

View Transcript

Transcript

alice visually distressed and yelling: can you please stop slurping that soup? wally: wow. you complain when i clip my toe-nails, when i make lip-smacking sounds, when i use my speaker-phone, and even when i microwave fish. alice still yelling: doesn't that tell you some things?? wally: yes, it's impossible to please you. slurp.