Woman Comic Strips - Page 55
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Character
558 Results for Woman
View 541 - 550 results for woman comic strips. Discover the best "Woman" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 04,
2018
Both Huge Liars
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday May 27,
2018
Tags manipulation, fear, tactic, ignorance, jargon, language
Transcript
Woman: I need help persuading your boss to bless my project. Should I use facts and logic? Dilbert: No, he hates that stuff. Woman: Maybe I could appeal to his better angels? Dilbert: His better angels wear noise-canceling headphones. Woman: Okay, fine. I'll just appeal to his self-interest. Dilbert: It would be in his best interest to avoid people like you. Woman: What do you suggest? Dilbert: We've had good outcomes using his ignorance and fear. Woman: Sign this ore else a blockchain drone will kill you in your sleep. Boss: Where's my pen!
Thursday May 17,
2018
Conditions For Wally To Be On The Team
Tags laziness, work ethic, excuses
Transcript
Wally: My boss gave me approval to join your project team under the condition I don't take on any extra work. Woman: The whole point of being on the project is to do extra work. Maybe I should talk to your boss. Wally: His other condition is that you never contact him.
Thursday May 24,
2018
Boring And Needy Children
Tags parents, mother, interview, children, annoyance, work-life balance, Family
Transcript
Boss: Do you enjoy spending time with your children? Woman: No, they're boring and needy. They can't even hold a conversation. If I'm being honest, I prefer working long hours so I see less of them. Boss: Perfect. You're hired. Woman: I mean, I love them, but I don't like them.
Saturday June 23,
2018
How Dare You
Tags offended, offense, accusation, strategy
Transcript
Wally: My new defense against every accusation is to be offended by the question. Dilbert: That works? Wally: Depends how hard I sell it. Woman: Why haven't you returned any of my emails? Wally: How dare you!
Saturday June 30,
2018
No Path To Victory
Thursday July 26,
2018
How About Lunch
Tags dating, flirting, rejection, relationships, obliviousness
Transcript
Dilbert: Would you like to have a drink after work? Woman: I don't drink. Dilbert: How about lunch? Woman: I also don't eat. Do you see a pattern yet? Dilbert: You're an android?
Wednesday August 15,
2018
How Dilbert Can Help
Tags Dilbert, project, criticism, option, boss, worthless
Transcript
Dilbert: How can I help you on your project? Woman Employee: I'll send you my files and you can do all of my work while I criticize you behind your back. Dilbert: Is there another option? Woman Employee: Yes, it' involves telling your boss you're worthless.
Tuesday September 11,
2018
Resistance Is Futile
Tags Dilbert, invention, thoughts, computer, commands, individual, part, collective, internet, sexy, resistance, futile
Transcript
Dilbert: My invention can read my thoughts and turn them into computer commands. I'm no longer an individual. Now I'm part of the collective internet mind. Woman: That is the least sexy thing I have ever heard. Dilbert:
Wednesday September 12,
2018
Social Media Ads To Influence
Tags Dilbert, brain-reading, computer, social media, profile, friends, testing, influence, cyborg, ridiculous, phone
Transcript
Dilbert: My brain-reading computer is checking your social media profile and finding your friends. I am now testing social media posts to see which ones influence them to recommend that to you date a cyborg. Woman: That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever. Dilbert: check your phone.


