Asok Comic Strips - Page 56
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Character
963 Results for Asok
View 551 - 560 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday March 20,
2015
Pipe Down, Coffee Intern
Tags board meeting, change, coffee, demotion, ego, ideas, Promotion, intern, new ideas
Transcript
Asok: Is it wise to ride your coffee intern to a board meeting? Wally: Pipe down, coffee intern. If you were capable of thinking like a leader, you would be a VP too. Dilbert: Demoted already? Wally: The board does not like new ideas.
Thursday April 09,
2015
Alice's Off Color Jokes
Tags joke, jokes, joking, assume, assumptions, offensive
Transcript
Tina: I'm uncomfortable with the off-color jokes I keep hearing in the engineering department. Boss: I'll talk to the guys and tell them to knock it off. Tina: Guys? Alice: Stop being babies. My jokes do not hurt your ears! Dilbert and Asok: It burns!
Thursday June 04,
2015
El Gato Leadership
Tags kissing up, brown nosing, delegate, wisdom, idiocy, leadership
Transcript
CEO: Remember, intern, you can't spell delegate without some of the letters of "El Gato." Asok: Your saying is ridiculous and yet I find it compelling because it came from a leader. CEO: No, it is I who have learned the most from your ignorance. Asok: That is so wise!
Saturday June 20,
2015
Four Hour Meeting
Tags decision, decisions, meeting, meetings, productivity, time, time management, business
Transcript
Boss: Yesterday, in our four-hour meeting, we agreed to postpone the vendor selection. Dilbert: No, we agreed to use our existing vendor. Asok: I thought we agreed to cancel the whole project. Dilbert: We might need some clarity on this. Boss: Four more hours should do it.
Wednesday July 08,
2015
Attendance Strategy
Tags work ethic, laziness, deception, attendance, Advice, mentor, mentoring
Transcript
Wally: Ideally, you want to find a job that requires more attendance than work. And then you want to concoct an endless string of "reasons" you can't come to work. The ultimate goal is getting paid for being nothing but a concept. Asok: I bask in your wisdom.
Thursday July 09,
2015
Hard Work Is Necessary For Success
Tags work ethic, laziness, misunderstanding, motivation, hard work, Advice, brainwash
Transcript
Wally: Remember, Asok, success requires hard work and sacrifice. Asok: Got it! I will work hard and sacrifice! Wally: I was going to say that's why you should avoid success. Who brainwashed you?
Wednesday July 22,
2015
Removing Obstacles
Tags hinder, hinderance, obstacle, obstacles, management, managers, insult, zinger, zing
Transcript
Boss: My job is removing obstacles. Asok: When do you leave? Dilbert: I think he was going in a different direction.
Monday September 07,
2015
Employees Should Be Optimists
Tags optimism, optimist, work ethic, gullible, trick, deception
Transcript
Catbert: The Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: Ideally, you want all of your employees to be optimists. Because optimists believe anything you tell them. Boss: If you work all weekend, and our profits double in a month, I'll give you a helicopter. Asok: Deal!
Thursday September 10,
2015
Understanding The Problem
Tags Advice, wisdom, criticism, bad advice, executives, success
Transcript
CEO Wisdom. Asok: Can you teach me to be a success? CEO: Yes, obviously. Stop everything you're doing now because it clearly isn't working. Asok: That's it? CEO: Understanding the problem is half the solution.
Sunday October 18,
2015
Tags pessimism, people, experience, psychic, esp, sixth sense, learning, misanthrope
Transcript
Coworker: I'll give you the data tomorrow, Asok. Asok: Thanks, Brad! Urk! Suddenly, I know I will not get that data tomorrow. Dilbert: Why are you so freaked out? Asok: I... I... think I can see the future now. Somehow I know that Brad will not do what he says he will do. Dilbert: That's called "experience." It's the first step toward hating all people. Asok: How can I make it stop? Dilbert: I hear good things about death.


