Dogberts Talk Radio Comic Strips - Page 56

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

610 Results for Dogberts Talk Radio

View 551 - 560 results for dogberts talk radio comic strips. Discover the best "Dogberts Talk Radio" comics from Dilbert.com.

No Texting At Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Texting At Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #politeness, #etiquette, #company policy, #communication, #distraction, #social media, #conversation, #interaction, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The company's new politeness policy forbids you from texting while I am trying to talk to you. Alice: I'm not using a texting app. I'm replying to people on social media. Dilbert: You're missing the point. Alice: When did my happiness stop being the point?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #listening, #small talk

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's work? Dilbert: Well, since you asked... it's like being trapped in a garbage compactor and no one can hear me scream. All my hopes and dreams have died, along with my immune system and my dignity. The only thing keeping me alive is that food tastes good. I tried to escape into my imagination, but I learned I don't have one. My life has no meaning. Each second is a slow-motion ordeal. Why do I get the feeling you weren't listening to any of that? Boss:My day was good too.

Normals Are Dispensible

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Normals Are Dispensible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #superiority, #microchip, #nanotechnology, #brain, #thinking, #superhuman

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm putting Randy on your project. He has a microchip embedded in his brain. So ignore whatever your inferior brain tells you to do and just listen to Randy. Dilbert: Doesn't that make me dispensable? Boss: We'll talk about Phase 2 later.

Wally Has A Doctor's Note

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has A Doctor's Note  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sleep, #boredom, #meeting, #laziness, #narcolepsy, #health, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Here's a doctor's note saying I have a chronic case of meeting narcolepsy. Boss: Sit down. We need to talk about this. Wally: ZZZZZZ.

75 Slides Too Long

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
75 Slides Too Long  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #length, #brevity, #powerpoint

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I have 75 slides to discuss in ten minutes. Save your questions to the end. CEO: Sit down and never talk to me again as long as you live. Dilbert: How'd the CEO presentation go? Asok: It was 75 slides too long.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #certification, #listening, #corporations, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Catbert: Don't bother me. I'm studying for a human resources certification. I already have my certifications for sadism and maniacal laughing. And, obviously, I have the basic HR certification for recreational downsizing. If you don't have that one, you can't even get a job in HR. But I need one more certification to make the big bucks. Now run along while I practice my joyless scowling. Dilbert: You talk a lot about yourself. Catbert: I prefer to think of myself as a non-listener.

Dogbert's Negotiating Class

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Negotiating Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiating, #deception, #sales, #manipulation, #deal, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I approved your request to take a negotiating class. Dilbert: Why did you change your mind? Boss: The instructor offered a great deal. Narrator: Earlier that day. Dogbert: Would you like to spend other people's money to get rid of Dilbert for a few days? Boss: Sold!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #accomplishment, #narcissist, #narcissism, #review, #firing, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.

Wally Is Late For Meetings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Late For Meetings  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #tardy, #tardiness, #late, #time

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm getting a lot of complaints about you being late for meetings. Wally: They never talk about anything important in the first ten minutes. Boss: They're usually talking about you being late. Wally: Why would I need to be there for that?

Dogbert's Insult Consulting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Insult Consulting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company rules, #insulting, #co workers, #teach how, #insult, #within guidelines, #standing desk, #meeting, #employer, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults DOgbert: Company rules forbid you from insulting your co-workers. I'll teach you how to insult each other while staying within company guidelines. The boss: That doesn't seem possible. Dogbert: you should look into getting a standing desk.