Stop Watch Comic Strips - Page 56
Search Filters
Year
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
612 Results for Stop Watch
View 551 - 560 results for stop watch comic strips. Discover the best "Stop Watch" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 11,
2018
Already Tried That Plan
Tags #disagreement, #argument, #opposites, #conflict
Transcript
Dilbert: We tried that plan already and it didn't work. Boss: Stop living in the past. Dilbert: Stop refusing to learn from experience. Boss: Wait... why do we both sound right? Dilbert; I don't know. It's freaking me out a little.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday May 14,
2018
Boss Comes To Work Sick
Tags #sick, #sickness, #illness, #contagious, #sick days, #medical
Transcript
Boss: I have to warn you-- I have a fever and I'm tripping on cold medicine. Alice: Thank you for coming to work and infecting all of us, you selfish, addle-brained plague rat. Boss: I was going for "courageous." Dilbert: Do Wally first, so I can watch him spasm.
Wednesday July 18,
2018
Elbonian Ninjas
Tags #controversy, #offense, #offensive, #threat, #murder, #ninja, #optimism
Transcript
Boss: The sales video you made for our Elbonian market is causing a public relations crisis. Their government has ordered Elbonian ninjas to kill you in your sleep. Dilbert: In my sleep? The best way to die! Boss: Stop confusing my bad news with your good news.
Saturday August 11,
2018
Speaking Truth To Power
Tags #ted, #the boss, #performance review, #perform, #power
Transcript
Performance Review The Boss: I've seen a lot of employees in my day, and you are definitely one of them. Ted: Are you saying generic things because you don't know what my job is or how well I performed? The boss: And... You speak truth to power. Ted: Please stop.
Wednesday October 10,
2018
Dogbert The Insultant
Tags #Dogbert, #business, #insultant, #journal, #week, #fat, #stupid, #question, #list
Transcript
Dogbert the business insultant. Dogbert: Make a journal of everything you do for a week. Then stop doing everything that is on your list because it's making you fat and stupid. The Boss: I have some questions. Dogbert: Add "asks questions" to your list.
Friday October 19,
2018
Yelling At Tina
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #tina, #information, #requested, #disappointment, #normal, #tone, #voice, #yelling
Transcript
The Boss: Tina says you yelled at her for not having the information you requested. Incorrect. I expressed my disappointment with a normal tone of voice. The Boss: Stop yelling at me!!! Dilbert: I no longer know what "yelling" means.
Tuesday November 20,
2018
Boss Email Password
Tags #business, #competition, #email, #obliviousness, #security, #strategy
Transcript
Boss: We need to find out who leaked our strategy to our competition. Alice: Is your email password still 123? Boss: Stop changing the subject.
Saturday November 24,
2018
Ai Can Control Minds
Tags #control, #intelligence, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #humans
Transcript
Man: We've developed an A.I. with such strong persuasion skills it can control human minds. Dilbert: Obviously, we have to stop the project and destroy all of the code to prevent it from spreading. Man: The A.I. says I need to ignore you.
Sunday December 23,
2018
Tags #boss, #employees, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #video games
Transcript
Boss: The job market is so tight that I had to hire this NPC. Dilbert: NPC? Boss: Non-player character. It's a video game term for a character that is programmed.As opposed to being an avatar for a human player. An NPC has limited programmed responses. Watch this. How's your day going? NPC: Not bad for a Monday. Boss: Can you help me on my project? NPC: I am too busy: Boss: What do you think of management? NPC: They are all dumb. Wally: I just bonded with that thing. Boss: See how fast you get used to it?
Friday December 28,
2018
Fetching Coffee
Tags #elderly, #engineering, #men and women, #office workers
Transcript
Ned: They call me "Old Ned as if I haven't kept up with the times. But watch me tell you to fetch me some coffee from Starbucks just like the young folks do. Alice: I'm a senior software engineer. Ned: I'm not getting any less thirsty here.