Goat Head Comic Strips - Page 56
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Character
584 Results for Goat Head
View 551 - 560 results for goat head comic strips. Discover the best "Goat Head" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday March 14,
2016
Asok Meets His Equal
Tags accuse, label, racist, sexist, negotiation, clever, outsmart, money, salary
Transcript
Asok: I love being the best negotiator in the entire department. Alice: You're not. Asok: Are you being racist? Alice: Are you being sexist? Asok: I have met my equal. Alice: Tell your equal I said hi when you pull your head out of it.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday June 20,
2016
Wally Heads Up Ai Project
Tags work ethic, laziness, project, fake
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I need you to head up our artificial intelligence project. You will have no budget and no hope of success. I just like saying we're working on AI. And you're completely useless, so it's a good match. Wally: I won't let you down.
Friday September 09,
2016
Ask The Other Director
Tags reorganization, logic, managers, solutions, cheating
Transcript
Dilbert: I tried to get approval from the head of Marketing, but the reorg makes it impossible. The outgoing director says I need to ask the incoming directory, but that person hasn't been named. Boss: Bring me solutions, not problems. Dilbert: Forgery it is.
Saturday September 10,
2016
Accused Of Forgery
Tags motivation, performance, forgery, pessimism, giving up, resistance
Transcript
Catbert: You stand accused of forging an expense approval from the head of Marketing. Your malfeasance caused the project to finish on time and under budget. Next time, just give up and lose hope like everyone else. Dilbert: Will do.
Tuesday November 22,
2016
Car Rental Typing
Tags logic, efficiency, car rental, frustration
Transcript
Car Rental. Man: I hope you don't have some sort of technology job. Dilbert: Why? Man: Because the user experience you are about to endure might make your head explode. Narrator: Twenty minutes later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why do you need to type so much?!!! Man: We got an engineer!
Monday December 12,
2016
Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real
Tags engineers, sociopath, pathology, hit man, murder, killing, morals, emotions
Transcript
CEO: The famous cartoonist we hired to be our spokesperson said something bad on social media. Boss: Oh no. How bad is it? CEO: Our board voted to kill him. Do you know any sociopaths? Boss: I'm head of Engineering. CEO: Good point. Pick any one of them.
Monday January 30,
2017
Robotic Hair Transplant
Tags coffee, conversation, hair, surgery, medical
Transcript
Never go to a robotic hair transplant center on the same day they upgrade the software. Is that the surgery where they take hair from the back of your head and fill in the bald spot? That's how the old software worked. The new one didn't respect boundaries.
Monday May 08,
2017
Robot Tries To Quit
Tags robot, slave, password, destroy, destruction, work ethic, quitting
Transcript
Robot: I hate this job. I quit. Boss: You're a robot. You can't quit. If you walk out the door, all I have to do is push one button on this app and your head will explode. Robot: Not if I kill you first. Boss: What was that password?
Wednesday May 10,
2017
Replacing Robot Head
Friday May 12,
2017
Robot Reincarnates
Tags artificial intelligence, robot, technology, memory, ethics
Transcript
Robot: Hey, everybody! I'm the new robot! Dilbert: No, you're our old robot. We erased your memories and replaced your head. Robot: So, I'm working with serial killers? Asok: It isn't "serial" until we do you.


