New Employee Comic Strips - Page 56
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1000 Results for New Employee
View 551 - 560 results for new employee comic strips. Discover the best "New Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 13,
2000
Tags share knowledge, new intranet, collaboration software, knowledge to share, hurst, true, hoarding
Transcript
Asok says to Dilbert and Wally, "Who wants to share knowlege with me via our new intranet collaboration software?" Dilbert says to Asok, "You don't have any knowledge to share." Asok replies, "Ouch. It hurts because it's true." Wally says to Dilbert, "I'm hoarding my knowledge in case I ever need it."
Friday June 16,
2000
Tags server named pointy, over loaded, moving, haired and idiot, cluless, purchase order
Transcript
Dilbert says to the Boss pointing to the diagraphn he's drawn on the board, "Our server named 'Pointy' is overloaded." Dilbert continues, "So we're moving some of the load to 'haired' and 'idiot'. But we still need a new server. Dilbert says to Alice and Wally, "He signed the purchase order for 'clueless."
Thursday June 22,
2000
Tags radio, sing, don't like to talk, hum, pretend radio, no talking dates
Transcript
Ming says to Dilbert as he drives, "I don't like to talk on dates. Do you mind if I hum?" Dilbert replies, "That's okay. I'll pretend you're the radio." Ming begins to hum. Dilbert thinks to himself, "I need a new radio."
Wednesday June 28,
2000
Tags loofah, new company concierge, personal, any errand
Transcript
The Boss says to his staff, "Ratbert is our new company concierge." Ratbert says, "I will perform any errand, no matter how personal or degrading it is." One employee says to Ratbert, "I need a loofah." Ratbert replies, "Lather me up!"
Saturday July 01,
2000
Tags company concierge, alibi, lye, a barrel, police, break you, legal
Transcript
An employee says to Ratbert the Concierge, "I need an alibi." The employee continues, "The police will try to beat the truth out of you, but don't let them break you!" The employee goes on, "I also need lye...and a barrel...better yet, make that two barrels."
Friday July 07,
2000
Tags employee of month, lulu, overcame odds, to win, name randomly picked, victory, last month
Transcript
The Boss: The employee of the month is LULU. LULU overcame long odds to win this award. I.E. her name was randomly picked. Wally: Id protest but I don't want to taint my victory of last month.
Sunday July 23,
2000
Tags baby cio, meeting, diapers, nature calls, big words, very advanced, baby, infany, genius, smart, talks, business
Transcript
ALICE: have you met the new CIO? Dilbert: No. Alice: I hear he's young. New Cio: Hello. We need to integrate our enterprise resource planning with our existing E-commerce platform. Now if you'll excuse me. Nature Calls. AAAHHH.... Then we'll decentralize the procurement function and....hold on a second. Gramps could you do me a huge favor?
Wednesday July 26,
2000
Tags three days, repair guy, under desk, uninvited, feeds licorice, animals, feed animals, i.s. people
Transcript
Wally asks Noriko, "How long has he been under your desk?" Noriko replies, "Three days." Wallys asks Noriko, "Did you feed him?" Noriko answers, "Just some licorice." Wally says to Noriko, "You should never feed the I.S. people." The I.S. employee responds, "More licorice!"
Thursday July 27,
2000
Tags upgraded three things, broke three things, terms, computer work
Transcript
The I.S. employee says to Noriko, "Well, I upgraded three things and I accidentally broke three things." The I.S. employee continues, "In I.S. terms, I came out ahead." Noriko responds, "Does my computer work?" The I.S. employee replies, "No, but if it did, it would be much faster."
Sunday August 13,
2000
Tags can't breathe, demonstration, evil eye process, new consultant, paper cut bleeding, rasputin, charisma
Transcript
The Boss says to his staff, "This is Rasputin, our new consultant." The Boss continues, "He stopped my paper cut from bleeding." The Boss says to everyone, "He has charisma." Alice says, "I'd like to see a demonstration on Asok." Rasputin looks at Asok fiercely. Asok nervously says, "Ack...can't breathe..." The Boss says to everyone, "That's called the evil eye process. Now do Wally." Rasputin begins to stare at Wally. Wally replies, "Ack...can't breathe..." Wally drops to the floor and the Boss says, "He never had a chance." Dilbert replies, "Your anti-charisma is strong today."


