Sit At Computer Comic Strips - Page 56

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Sit At Computer

View 551 - 560 results for sit at computer comic strips. Discover the best "Sit At Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dances, dancing dogs, go wild, healed, healthy, invoice, poems, primal screams, tech me, total well being

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, who is wearing a wizard's hat, stands on the desk in Alice's cubicle. Dogbert asks, "Have my poems and dances healed your soul yet, Alice? The company cares about your total well being." Alice says, "Excuse me." Alice leans over the cubicle wall and shouts at the Boss, "We want more MONEY, not more dancing dogs!!! M-O-N-E-Y!! The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "So you're saying those primal screams are healthy? Can you teach me to do it?" Dogbert says, "Here's my invoice - go wild."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags marketing plan, comments, obvious generalities, wishful thinking, business value, glamour career

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee from marketing, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The woman says, "And that's the marketing plan. Any comments?" Dilbert says, "It appears to be a bunch of obvious generalities and wishful thinking with no apparent business value." The woman thinks, "Marketing didn't turn out to be the glamour career I expected." Wally shows his copy of the plan to Dilbert and says, "I circled all the words you won't find in any dictionary."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags another banner week, accomplishements, streamlined, business process, valuing diversity, mandatory training vidoes, lost free will

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at a conference table. Wally says, "I'm pleased to report another banner week of accomplishments!" Wally continues, "I streamlined my business processes while honing my participatory style and my proactive attitude, all while valuing diversity!" The Boss asks, "You watched the mandatory training videos?" Wally adds, "And I lost my free will!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wally compensation, equalibrium, project, lower quality, consistent, salary, first month, after raises, achieved equilibrium, money

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Wally says, "This week I kicked off the 'Wally Compensation Equilibrium Project.'" Wally continues, "My goal is to lower the quality of my work until it is consistent with my salary." The Boss thinks, "I hate the first month after they see their raises." Wally says, "I'd go on, but I just achieved equilibrium."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cafeteria, Catbert, human resources, labeling entrees, life threatening, red lump, health care, evil director, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Catbert, the evil Director of Human Resources." Catbert, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Catbert says, "We're moving to 'cafeteria style' benefits." Catbert continues, "Under this system, if you need health care, you wander through the cafeteria asking 'Does anybody know what this red lump is?'" Alice asks, "What if it's a life-threatening problem?" Catbert replies, "That reminds me, the cafeteria won't be labeling the entrees anymore."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new vp, cost containment, first priority, reduce expenses, office supplies, supply cabinet locked, butter efficient secreatray, naive question, dispirited hollow shells, product shoddy, get supplies, like honesty

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Alice, Dilbert, Asok, Wally and an executive sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I'd like you all to meet our new vice president in charge of cost containment." The VP says, "My first priority is to reduce our spiraling expenses for office supplies." The VP continues, "From now on, your supply cabinet will be locked." The VP continues, "The only key will be under the control of your bitter and inefficient secretary. Questions?" Asok raises his hand and says, "I am only an intern so please excuse this naive question . . ." Asok continues, "I've noticed that the employees are all dispirited hollow shells, management is random and our products are shoddy." Asok asks, "How are you going to solve that by making it hard to get supplies?" The VP looks angry. Asok says to Wally, "I thought you said they like honesty." Wally whispers, "Ask how much he's paid. It shows you care."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags after merger, reduce staff, redundant, employees, evaluated, buying company, bald guy, steal office furniture, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Wally, Dilbert and a man from the buying company sit at a conference table. The man says, "After the merger, we'll reduce staff in areas that are redundant." Wally says, "I hope the employees of this company will be evaluated fairly compared to those in the buying company." The man says, "We already have a bald guy." Dilbert asks, "Does your steal office furniture, too?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anti rust, bald, big field, butterfly turned opera singer, car dealer, data compression, dream analysts, extended warranty, new algorythm, running against wind, sealant, serious money

View Transcript

Transcript

Someone reaches for a door labeled "Dogbert's Dream Analysis." Dogbert and a man sit at a conference table. The man says, "I was in a big field full of tofu and carburetors." Dogbert says, "It means you're a gullible moron. That's $25 please." A woman tells Dogbert, "Then I was running, running, running against the wind." Dogbert replies, "That means you're ugly." Wally tells Dogbert, "Then the butterfly turned into an opera singer." Dogbert says, "That means you're bald." Dilbert tells Dogbert, "Suddenly I saw a new algorythm for data compression." Dogbert replies, "It means you're boring." The Boss tells Dogbert, "Then I told the car dealer I wanted the anti-rust sealant, the extended warranty and the lease option." The Boss asks, "What do you think it means?" Dogbert replies, "It means I'm going to make some serious money today."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags another company benefit, new policy forbids, permit, season, use of weapons, violence, workplace

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new policy forbids the use of weapons or any violence in the workplace." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Ummm . . . What was the policy before this?" The Boss responds, "I'm not sure . . . Maybe if you had a permit and it was in season." Wally says, "There goes another company benefit."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags had a cat once, two hours, beef of cat, selfish

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at the lunch table. Wally says, "I had a cat once . . ." Wally continues, "I petted that thing for two hours but I didn't feel any better." Dilbert says, "Petting is for the benefit of the cat, not your hand." Wally says, "They're so selfish."