Business People Comic Strips - Page 56
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1000 Results for Business People
View 551 - 560 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday September 17,
2019
Bad Attitude
Tags big business, complaining, employees, obliviousness, attitude
Transcript
Catbert: I need to talk to you about your bad attitude. Dilbert: I'm surrounded by useless idiots, and I work in a fabric-covered box. How can I have a good attitude? Catbert: Oh, good. I was hoping it would be something I couldn't fix.
Monday September 16,
2019
Best Employees
Tags big business, confused, employees, customer service
Transcript
CEO: We have the best employees in the industry! Dilbert: Then why are we ranked last in customer satisfaction? CEO: I blame our customers. Wally: Why can't they be awesome like us?
Thursday September 12,
2019
The Consultant
Tags Advice, boss, business, criticism, managers & supervisors, judgement
Transcript
Man: ...And that's what I recommend. Boss: I reject your recommendation because it doesn't match what we already decided to do. Man: That's no way to run a business. Boss: Can you refer me to a less judgy consultant?
Tuesday September 10,
2019
Cause Of Unhappiness
Tags criticism, happiness, office workers, research, sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: I did a study of what makes people unhappy. It turns out that the primary cause of unhappiness is "other people". Alice: That's dumb. Dilbert: Said the other person.
Saturday September 07,
2019
Centralizing The Decentralized
Tags boss, business, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, value
Transcript
Boss: I need to randomly change something so it seems as if being a manager is a real job. Maybe I should centralize all the functions I decentralized last year. Catbert: Or you could find a way to add value. Boss: I'm not magic.
Thursday September 05,
2019
Technically Dilbert Is Male
Tags boss, business ethics, gender, managers & supervisors, men and women, office workers, salary
Transcript
Dilbert: Technically, I'm male. But my boss makes me identify as a woman so it looks as if he pays men and women the same. Dogbert: You let your boss choose your gender? Dilbert: Don't make it sound weird.
Wednesday September 04,
2019
Company Pays Men More Than Women
Tags boss, business ethics, managers & supervisors, men and women, money, relations between the sexes, sex & gender, salary
Transcript
Boss: It has come to my attention that our company pays men more than women. I have been asked to correct that situation. Dilbert: You're going to cut the pay of the men, right? Boss: No, no, no. I'm only going to ask you to identify as a woman.
Tuesday September 03,
2019
Wally Covers For Boss
Tags boss, business, managers & supervisors, motivation, vacations
Transcript
Boss: I need you to fill in for me while I'm on vacation. I would have asked someone competent, but they're all on vacation next week, too. Please don't destroy the entire company. Wally: Do I seem that motivated?
Friday August 30,
2019
No One Is Taking Advice
Tags Advice, confidence, employees, jobs, office workers, youth
Transcript
Man: I keep telling people how to do their jobs, but no one takes my advice. Wally: Maybe that's because you are so inexperienced that you don't realize how bad your advice is. That's ridiculous. How could I be so wrong and yet feel so confident? Wally: I miss being young.
Sunday August 25,
2019
Wally Writes Fiction
Tags budget, business, managers & supervisors
Transcript
wally: i decided to try my hand at writing fiction. i like writing fiction because it doesn't require any research. i can literally make up a story out of nothing. i feel sorry for nonfiction writers. they have to get the facts right. but a fiction writer only has to use imagination. i can make any wild assumptions about the future that i want. boss: i asked you here to talk about your budget forecast. wally: that's what i was talking about.


