New York Harbor Comic Strips - Page 56

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, world, news, country, doug, tiny, monarchy, king, descendant, deity, head, doesn't

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Dilbert sits in his chair watching the television news. The newscaster says, "In world news, the tiny country of Elbonia has become a despotic monarchy." The news anchorman continues, "The new ruler is King Dogbert, who claims to be a descendant of the Elbonian Deity 'Doug.'" In Elbonia, Dogbert rides on the back of an Elbonian and hits him on the back of his head. Dogbert is wearing a miter and holding a scepter. Dogbert thinks, "I hope this doesn't go to my head."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, democracy, movement, charismatic, leader, elbonian, elbonia, acne, Men, trick, question

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Dogbert and Dilbert stand on a castle turret. Dilbert looks over the edge and says, "It looks the democracy movement has a new charismatic leader." A man stands in front of a crowd of Elbonians. The man yells, "Give me liberty or give me . . . Uh . . . Back acne." The man yells, "Are we mice or are we men?" An Elbonian woman asks, "Is that a trick question?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, coworker, the boss, zimbu, monkey, zoo, keepers, special, program, insult, intelligence, workers

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The Boss points to a monkey and says, "Dilbert, your new co-worker is Zimbu the Monkey." The Boss says, "Zimbu learned English from the zoo keepers in a special program." Dilbert says, "This monkey is an insult to the intelligence of the other workers and I!" Zimbu corrects Dilbert, "Other workers and 'me,' not 'I.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, technology, Dilbert, tiny, pcs, phone, phones, new, newest, call, progress, annoying

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Dilbert says, "Dogbert, I got tiny 'PCS' phones for both of us." Dilbert continues, "It's the newest technology! I'll be able to call you at any time, no matter where we are!" The phone sits on the pillow next to Dogbert. As it rings, Dogbert thinks, "Why must all progress start out as something annoying?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, jealous, goldfish, death, depressed

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Dogbert places a fishbowl on a table and thinks, "I hope Dogbert doesn't get jealous of my new goldfish." Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper. He hears a toilet flush. Dogbert asks, "Have you noticed that Goldie was looking a bit depressed?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags skeptical, hiring, dog, square-dance, resume, impressive, Pulitzer

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Dogbert sits across from a man at a desk. The man, who is wearing a plaid shirt and a cowboy hat, says, "I was skeptical about hiring a dog as our new square-dance caller, but your resume is impressive." The man continues, "I didn't even know you could win a Pulitzer Prize for square-dance calling." The man continues, "Wow! And you're already in the Alberdeen Hall of Dung!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, rats, ratbert, cuddling, frisbee, ears, appreciative, scratch, Dilbert

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Dilbert sits at his desk and Ratbert stands on the desk. Ratbert says, "Forget Dogbert; I can be your new best friend!" Ratbert continues, "Rats are twice as good for cuddling and you should see me catch a frisbee!" Ratbert points to his head and says, "Here, scratch behind my ears. You'll find me most appreciative!" Dilbert says, "You sound like me on a date."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, newspaper, employee, bureaucracy, fifties, paid, forgotten, perfect, job

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Dilbert says to a man sitting at a desk behind piles of paper, "Hi . . . Are you new here? I've never seen you before." The man says, "I'm the lost employee . . . I've been hiding in the bureaucracy since the fifties . . . Paid but forgotten." Dilbert thinks, "Wouldn't THAT be the perfect job . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, ad, man, turn, negatives, perceived, benefits, shmultz, beer, head, pounds, bikini, concept, lonely, Men

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Dogbert stands in front of two men and points to a diagram. Dogbert says, "We must turn the negatives of your project into perceived benefits." Dogbert continues, "The new slogan will be 'Shmultz Beer: you know it's working because your head pounds.'" Dogbert points to a picture of a man who is holding a beer and has a headache. A man asks, "Can you work some bikinis into this concept?" The other man says, "We're very lonely men."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, video, techie, dweebs, technology, mirror, hell, sarcasm

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Dilbert sits at his desk staring at the video phone. Dogbert asks, "Did anybody call on your new video phone yet?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert asks, "Don't you think that the only people who will buy video phones are male techie dweebs like you?" Dogbert continues, "Therefore, wouldn't it be cheaper to buy a mirror?" Dilbert thinks, "It's hell being an early adopter."