Own Email Comic Strips - Page 56
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Character
586 Results for Own Email
View 551 - 560 results for own email comic strips. Discover the best "Own Email" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 29,
2018
Tags #conversation, #assumption, #arguing, #logic, #argument
Transcript
Man: You said the software would be finished by today. Dilbert: I said it might be finished by today. Man: Why did you say it might be finished if you knew it wouldn't? Dilbert: I didn't know it wouldn't be finished. Man: Now you're flip-flopping all over the place. Dilbert: You're conflating your own false memories with my actions. Man: That's exactly what liars say. Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Totally normal. Unfortunately.
Monday July 30,
2018
Grant Application
Tags #job, #job description, #responsibility, #business
Transcript
Boss: I need you to write a government grant application for my wife's new business. Dilbert: That's not my job, and I don't know how to do it. Boss: Maybe you could learn it in your free time. Dilbert: I can see why your wife wants her own income.
Tuesday July 31,
2018
Wife Starts A Business
Tags #entrepreneur, #business, #divorce, #marriage, #assumption, #small business, #relationships
Transcript
Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.
Thursday August 23,
2018
Resending Email
Tags #Wally, #the boss, #project, #dead in the water, #requests, #budget
Transcript
The Boss: Wally, give me an update on your project. Wally: My project is dead in the water because every time I send you my budget request, you lose it and ask me to resend it. The Boss: I haven't seen any budget requests. Wally: I'll resend it.
Saturday October 06,
2018
Spending The Company's Money
Tags #Dilbert, #price, #high, #ted, #company, #money, #live, #die, #minute, #sense
Transcript
Dilbert: This price is too high. Ted: Why do you care? You're spending the company's money, not your own. And the company doesn't care if you live or die. Dilbert: Give me a minutes to think of why that doesn't make sense. Ted: Take as long as you need.
Tuesday October 16,
2018
Everyone Else Is Lazy And Useless
Monday November 05,
2018
Narcissist
Saturday November 10,
2018
Fyi Boss
Tags #boss, #email, #managers & supervisors
Transcript
Boss: I've decided to be more of an "FYI Boss". I'll forward emails that already went to every employee and add a note saying, "FYI". Dilbert: Do you call that managing? Boss: No, I call it leading.
Saturday December 15,
2018
Fly On Weekend
Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #evil, #cheap
Transcript
Boss: I need you to do a customer site visit. Book your flight for the weekend so you don't miss any work. Dilbert: I'm impressed by your casual evil. Boss: Bring your own food.
Saturday December 29,
2018
Alice Gets Mandatory Training
Tags #complaining, #office workers, #punishment, #threat
Transcript
Alice: I can't work with old Ned. He's a sexist, racist, bigoted troglodyte. Catbert: Name-calling is not allowed in this company. I sentence you to three weeks of mandatory training. Alice: I could trangle you with your own tail. Catbert: Six weeks!