Same Questions Comic Strips - Page 56

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

578 Results for Same Questions

View 551 - 560 results for same questions comic strips. Discover the best "Same Questions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Is No Longer His Name

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Is No Longer His Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #gender, #managers & supervisors, #men and women, #office workers, #respect, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My name used to be Dilbert, but my boss ordered me to identify as a woman. That way he can claim he pays men and women the same. Woman: I just lost all respect for your company. Dilbert: That was going to happen either way.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Performance Versus Pay

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Performance Versus Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angry, #big business, #employees, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.

Goofy Words

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Goofy Words - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #proposal, #understand, #clarification, #end, #misunderstand

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: and that's my blockchain proposal. any questions? boss: there was a part i didn't understand. dilbert: which part? boss: the words dilbert: all of them? boss: only the goofy ones. such as token, smart contract, certainty as a service, utxo blockchains, node, ledger, and daps. dilbert: so... you didn't understand anything i said for the past hour? boss: don't try to turn this into my fault dilbert: you could have asked me to clarify boss: i also wanted it to end.

Parody Or Real

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Parody Or Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joke, #sarcasm, #technology, #boss, #business, #department, #proposal, #reality, #parody, #inversion

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: ever since the parody inversion, no one can tell the difference between jokes and reality boss: i need you to get buy-in on this proposal from all thirteen department heads by tomorrow wally: was that real or parody? dilbert: i think they're the same now

Garbage Man Breaks Fourth Wall

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Garbage Man Breaks Fourth Wall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #psychology, #reality, #parody, #broken, #business, #garbage, #Comic, #indistinguishable

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: reality has become so absurd that it is indistinguishable from parody. how can we fix that? garbage man: there is nothing to fix. reality has always been the same as parody. you just didn't notice until now. dilbert: you're joking, right? garbage man: check out this comic strip called "dilbert"

Two Places At Once

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Places At Once - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #meeting, #time, #states, #impossible

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: you committed me to two different meetings at the same time in different states. it is not possible to be in two places at the same time wally: pfft! i could do it boss: even wally could do it

Thwarting Alice's Career

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Thwarting Alice's Career - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #mentor, #deny, #Promotion, #compete, #thwart, #career, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: can you mentor me? boss: heck, no. you're only one promotion away from competing for my job. alice: well, maybe you could just stop thwarting my career? boss: no, same issue.

Nodding Approval

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nodding Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-workers, #nodding, #positive, #reinforcement, #repeat, #boring, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: you have now made the same point nine times in a row while i sit here nodding. what will it take to make you stop repeating yourself? co-worker: you'll need to stop nodding in agreement. i'm addicted to positive reinforcement.

Finding Qualified Engineers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Finding Qualified Engineers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #interview, #questions, #job market, #engineers, #baker, #mortuary, #assistant

View Transcript

Transcript

interview boss: it's hard to find qualified engineers in this job market, so i'm casting a wider net. it says here you have experience as a mortuary assistant and baker. that's not exactly like being an engineer, but i want to stay open-minded. tell me about a time you had to deal with failure and what you did about it. interviewee: well, one time i totally botched an embalming. so i used a chainsaw to reduce the corpse to flushable parts. i told the family he came back to life and ran away. boss: okay. and why did you become a baker? interviewee: so i cold eat my mistakes.

Wally Prefers Systems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Prefers Systems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #office workers, #goals, #question, #answer, #system, #year

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: what are your goals for the year? wally: i prefer systems over goals. dilbert: okay, what are your systems? wally: none of them involve answering questions.