Two Weeks Vaction Comic Strips - Page 56

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View 551 - 560 results for two weeks vaction comic strips. Discover the best "Two Weeks Vaction" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ideas, problems, talking, solution, obliviousness, criticism, honesty

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Boss: Why didn't you tell me our biggest vendor pulled out of the deal? Dilbert: If I told you my problems, you would suggest solutions. Your solutions generally don't make sense. But you are my boss, so I would be obliged to waste time looking into your suggestions. So if you try to solve my problem, I will have two problems instead of one. Boss: Sometimes my ideas are good! Right? Dilbert: That is a dangerous way to think.

The Boredom Of Living Off The Grid

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The Boredom Of Living Off The Grid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hiding, grid, off the grid, bored, bore, boredom, Entertainment

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Dilbert: The government will never find me off the grid. G-Man 1: He went off the grid. G-Man 2: Problem solved. The boredom will kill him in two days. Dilbert: Looking at a stick. Still looking at a stick.

Boss Hoards Gold Unless Hungry

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Boss Hoards Gold Unless Hungry - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gold, apocalypse, money, Food, priorities, hunger, fool

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Boss: You'll be sorry when the world economy collapses. But I'll be okay because I hoarded gold at my house. Alice: On day two, you'll trade all of it for a sandwich. Boss: Only if I'm hungry.

Death By Emoji

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Death By Emoji - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags emoji, communication, miscommunication, murder, crime, deception, engineers, work ethic

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Boss: I tried to use emoji characters and accidentally ordered two of my engineers to kill Ted. They say they did it. CEO: Did the engineers complain about being too busy to do it? Boss: No. Oh, I see it now. CEO: Total hoax.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags modernity, reality, thinking, frustration, panic, existentialism, existence, meaning of life

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Dilbert: Looks like another day of flailing toward arbitrary goals. I will battle my way through a sea of idiots, much like the zombie apocalypse. My ego will be tested and my nervous system will be degraded. And all of this is to earn money so I can... buy items that scientists and product designers have brainwashed me to crave. But I get back at them by writing software they think they can't live without. My life is like two piles of meat trying to play ping pong. Alice: Stop mumbling and take care of this. Dilbert: You take care of it.

Two Choices For A Project

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Two Choices For A Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags question, trick, choice, illusion, work, assignment, power

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Boss: Do you want the boring and awful project that is likely to succeed... or the fun project that is certain to fail and take your career with it? Dilbert: You came here to give both of them to me. Boss: Ha ha! You know me.

Ted's Unicorn Startup

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Ted's Unicorn Startup - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags success, failure, gloating, start-up

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Dilbert: Too bad your overhauled unicorn start-up failed, Ted. Last week you were a billionaire, and today you're doing a two-hour commute to work in a box. Ted: What can I do to make this stop? Dilbert: Earn a billion dollars.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags justice, trial, jury duty, laziness, lazy, juror, legal system

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Wally: I got called for jury duty. I'll probably be gone for weeks. I think I would be a good juror. As I understand the job, you sit in a chair doing nothing for hours. Boss: You're supposed to pay attention to the trial. Wally: That's what the other eleven people are for. There's a lot of redundancy in the system. Time to serve up some justice.

Asok Returns From Fbi

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Asok Returns From Fbi - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags racism, arrest, terrorist, terrorism, protest, friendship, relationship, commitment, apathy, relationships

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Asok: The FBI held me for three weeks on suspicion that I was a terrorist. I assume you were protesting outside the FBI building the entire time and they didn't tell me. Because racism? Dilbert: Oh, right. Yes. We were protesting the entire time.

Carol Leaves Kids

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Carol Leaves Kids - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags babysitter, children, supervision, date night, parents, Family

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Carol: Dilbert should be here soon to fill in for the babysitter. Your dad and I need to leave now. Just let him in. We turned off our phones, so don't try to reach us on our date night. Narrator: Two hours later. Boy: I don't think he's coming. Girl: I say we Airbnb this place.