Wally Comic Strips - Page 57
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1000 Results for Wally
View 561 - 570 results for Wally comic strips. Discover the best "Wally" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday October 31,
1995
Tags focus core bsuiness, core business change, misdirected failure, car gets flat, rotate tires, drive home
Transcript
Wally says to the Boss, "I don't understand how the new reorganization will help us 'focus on our core business.'" Wally continues, "Did our core business change? Or are you saying that EVERY reorg prior to this was a misdirected failure?" The Boss asks hypothetically, "Wally, when a car gets a flat tire, what do you do?" Wally answers, "Well, if I'm you, I rotate the tires and drive home."
Wednesday November 01,
1995
Tags Catbert, sadistic plot, different objectives, staus report, staple himself
Transcript
Catbert peers over the wall of Wally's cubicle and says, "Guess what, Wally." Wally says, "What sadistic plot has HR come up with now, Catbert?" Catbert shows Wally an org chart and says, "We're giving you a real boss plus a 'dotted line' to another boss who has different objectives." Catbert continues, "The status reports alone will take forty hours a week." Wally opens a stapler and says, "I'm gonna staple myself to death."
Thursday November 02,
1995
Tags dotted line, arch rival, secret double agent, captured and executed, immediate
Transcript
Dilbert stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I heard you got assigned on a 'dotted line' to our boss's arch-rival." Wally sits with his head in his hands and groans. Dilbert continues, "Look on the bright side. Think of yourself as leading the exiting life of a secret double-agent!" Wally asks, "Don't most double-agents get captured and executed immediately?" Dilbert says, "They WISH it was immediate."
Wednesday November 08,
1995
Tags project status, yellow light, twelve seconds, interface, manual, pure fiction, need to do, dummies book
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally, Alice and the Boss sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "The project status is 'yellow light.'" Dilbert continues, "In user tests we found that the product locks up every twelve seconds. The interface is incomprehensible and the manual is pure fiction." Dilbert continues, "I think it's clear what we need to do . . ." The Boss asks, "Ship it and hope somebody writes a 'Dummies' book about it?"
Monday November 13,
1995
Tags write bug free software, ten dollar bonus, find and fox, right behavior, new minivan, afternoon
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our goal is to write bug-free software. I'll pay a ten-dollar bonus for every bug you find and fix." Dilbert, Wally and Alice throw their arms up in excitement. Dilbert yells, "Yahoo!" Alice yells, "We're rich!" Wally yells, "Yes!!! Yes!!! Yes!!!" The Boss says, "I hope this drives the right behavior." Wally says, "I'm gonna write me a new minivan this afternoon!"
Wednesday November 15,
1995
Tags accomplishment, this week, agent of change, foster and reward, culture, team work, slightly cynical
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally and the Boss sit at a conference table. Wally says, "My accomplishment this week is that I've become an agent of change." Wally continues, "I foster and reward those behaviors that contribute to a culture of teamwork." Dilbert says, "I've become slightly more cynical." Wally pats Dilbert on the shoulder and says, "Keep up the good work, buddy."
Thursday November 16,
1995
Tags write programs, punch cards, rather be fishing, snap suspenders, alice threat, snap you into next week, space time continum
Transcript
Alice sits at a conference table typing on a laptop. An older man with a beard sits next to her. The man says, "I used to write programs using punch cards . . . But I'd rather be fishing . . ." Alice grabs the man by his suspenders and shouts, "Look, you bearded road apple, if you answer one more of my questions with an irrelevant story I'll snap you into next week!!" The caption says, "Sometime next week . . ." Dilbert and Wally see a hole in the air with a man's legs hanging out of it. Wally says, "Looks like a hole in the space-time continuum." Dilbert asks, "Did you hear a snap?"
Wednesday November 22,
1995
Tags bent over, chairs, key boards, lower back pain, management kick ass, new policy, on floor, only explination, uncomfortable
Transcript
Dilbert watches as Wally sits in his chair and bends over to reach his keyboard on the floor. Wally says, "This new policy of keeping our keyboards on the floor is ridiculous!" Dilbert says, "The only possible explanation is to make us all stooped over so it's easier for management to kick our behinds! Ha ha ha!" Wally laughs. As the Boss peeks into Wally's cubicle, Dilbert looks shocked and says, "Wait a minute . . . That IS the only explanation." Wally says, "Cover me; I'm going to the printer."
Thursday November 23,
1995
Tags ousource, functions, knowing, not good ta
Transcript
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The company has decided to outsource all of the functions that we're not any good at." Dilbert, Wally and Alice throw their arms up in excitement and shout, "Yippee! Yay!" Wally asks the Boss, "When's your last day?" Alice points at him and says, "Uh-oh . . . They're not good at knowing what they're not good at . . ."
Friday November 24,
1995
Tags bath towels, cleanest object, get clean, shower, take showers, towels get clean
Transcript
Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Wally says, "I don't understand why some people wash their bath towels." Wally continues, "When I get out of the shower I'm the cleanest object in my house. In theory, those towels should be getting cleaner every time they touch me." Alice says, "Maybe I could hug you every day so I don't need to take showers." Wally asks, "Are towels supposed to bend?"

