Work Ethic Comic Strips - Page 57

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Work Ethic

View 561 - 570 results for work ethic comic strips. Discover the best "Work Ethic" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags secretaries (office), increase work productivity, yammering, salted earth, great plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I just thought of a great idea for increasing workplace productivity. Carol: Does it involve standing near my workplace and yammering while I try to work? Boss: Geez. Who salted the Earth? Carol: Your plan is going great so far.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business failures/bankruptcies, stock market, innovative pordcuts, in pipeline, r&d budget, firings, sexy startup, work smarter, ironic, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our stock is down 49% and we have no innovative products in the pipeline. CEO: Slash the R&D budget, fire 9,000 employees, and buy a sexy start-up company that we can run into the ground. Boss: We did all of that last year. CEO: Did I already tell the employees to work smarter? Boss: Yes. They thought you were being ironic.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, work all night, inspiring employees, clearly defined roles, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We'll finish this project even if we have to work all night! Well, I just did my job of inspiring you, so I might as well go home. How do you like our clearly defined roles now?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags daughter sneezed, work from home, answer boss phone, phone messages aren't real, bitung humor

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: "My daughter sneezed so the school is sending her home." "I'll work from home for the rest of the day." The Boss: "How will you answer my phone?" Carol: "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but none of your phone messages are real."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags people bothering, trying to work, get away, morons, unpleasant realization

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Have you ever noticed that people continuously bother you when you're trying to work? Thats why I come here - to get away from those morons. wally: Im having an unpleasant realization. Dilbert: They're all like that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ethics hotline, naughty thoughts, work hours, lost productivity, reimburse comapny, fortune, too honest, self imposing

View Transcript

Transcript

Ethics hotline This is dogcart. Please state your conundrum. Asok: sometimes I have naughty thoughts during work hours should I reimburse the company for lost productivity? Asok: Dang! Thi is costing me a fortune!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags inflamed coccyx, unnecessary body parts, surgery over work, napping, slacker, watch tv

View Transcript

Transcript

"Do you have a price sheet for removing unnecessary body parts?" "I wouldn't mind a few days away from work, being waited on, watching TV and napping." "You have an inflamed coccyx?" "Yeah, it's gotta go."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags advice for cousin, carerradvice, dilmon, frustrated work environement, scratch out meager living

View Transcript

Transcript

Your cousin Lauren just got her degree in English. Can you give her some career advice? "Would you enjoy scratching out a meager living in a frustrating work environment?" "I've never thought about it." "Obviously."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big dumb guy, disagree, lazy, habitual liar, excellent track record, excellent work

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss brings a Big Dumb Guy to Alice's desk. He says, "Alice, I'd like you to work with this big dumb guy." The Boss continues, "He doesn't know he's dumb. So he'll tell people you're dumb if you ever disagree." The Boss: "He's also lazy and a habitual liar." Alice shouts, "Then why do you let him work here?!" The Boss explains, "He has an excellent track record. No one knows why." In front of the Boss and Alice, the Big Dumb Guy bends over and picks up the document that Alice was working on from her desk. Big Dumb Guy shows Alice's document to the Boss. Big Dumb Guy says, "Look what I just did." The Boss responds, "Excellent work." Alice is flabbergasted. The Boss tries to console Alice, who is furious, with "Remember Alice, you're never too old to learn."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags quick question, innocent work realted, question, try to impress, knowledge of engineering, pathetic hope, value, intelligence, physical appearence, red bmw, lights on

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert peeks into a women's cube. Dilbert says, "Can I ask you a question?" She says, "I doubt it." She says, "Oh, sure it'll start as an innocent work-realted question." She says, "Then you'll try to impress me with your knowledge of engineering..." She says, "... in the pathetic hope that I value intelligence over physical appearance." She stands up and says, "Well, I don't!! I only care about looks!" Dilbert says, "Do you drive a red BMW? The lights are on." Dilbert sits in a robe on the couch. Dogbert says, "And you still tried to ask her out?" Dilbert says, "She's hard to read."