Ceo Comic Strips - Page 57

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

627 Results for Ceo

View 561 - 570 results for CEO comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wifi In Slide Deck

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wifi In Slide Deck  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags credibility, typo, spelling, assumption, ignorance, obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I can't take you seriously because there's a typo in your slide deck. You've lost all credibility because of your sloppy presentation. And don't mention my wife in your slide deck. Dilbert: That's "wi-fi."

Wife Versus Wifi

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wife Versus Wifi - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags typo, overreaction, wife, wi-fi, offense, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I want you to fire Dilbert for insulting my wife in his slide deck. Boss: The presentation was about wi-fi, not your wife. CEO: In my defense, they're both spotty.

Wally's Stealth Drone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Stealth Drone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, deceit, drone, technology, invention, fake

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: In my right hand is a standard drone. In my left hand is a drone using the cloaking technology I invented. Voices: Ooh! Wow! Wally: I'll demonstrate it flying as soon as I finish the noise cancellation. CEO: Employee of the year!

Reducing Headcount By Attrition

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Reducing Headcount By Attrition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, injury, layoff, osha, safety

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We need to reduce headcount, but we plan to do it by attrition. We're loosening our safety standards and letting nature do the rest. Voice: Gaaa!!! Ouch!!! CEO: You might want to keep your headphones on for a week or so.

New Military Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Military Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags name, weapon, semantics, language

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My staff is threatening to quit because of our military contracts. CEO: Tell them we only work on defensive weapons. Boss: It might help if we changed the project name from "City-killing Laser In Space." CEO: How about "Skylight?"

Dilbert Consults His Bumper Stickers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Consults His Bumper Stickers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, Dilbert, government regulations, marketing, question authority

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Government regulations prevent us from marketing our products the way we want. What should we do? Dilbert: I'll consult my bundle of bumper stickers for some guidance. "Question authority." CEO: How did you get so smart?

Award For Cutting Costs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Award For Cutting Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, award, cutting, costs, department, underfunded, losers, awards, help

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I am proud to give you this award for cutting costs more than any other department. Dilbert: All of our projects failed because they are underfunded. CEO: How do you put up with these losers? The Boss: The awards help.

Ceo Wants A Crypto Wallet

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Wants A Crypto Wallet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, Wally, crypto, cryptocurrency, game, private key, password, done, care

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How do I get a crypto wallet so I can get into the cryptocurrency game? Wally: I'll set one up for you and give you the private key and password when I'm done. CEO: I don't know how to thank you. Wally: That'll take care of itself.

Crypto Key

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Crypto Key - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, Wally, cryptocurrency, wallet, disappeared, private, key

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I put five thousand dollars into the cryptocurrency wallet you created for me and it disappeared! You're the only other person who knew my password and private key. Wally: That's not true. I shared them with Dilbert to create reasonable doubt.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, decision, executives, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, success, manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Profits have increased thirty percent under my leadership. Dilbert: Snort. CEO: What? Dilbert: All you do is pick the best plans from the options we show you. CEO: Exactly, and I pick the best plan every time. Dilbert: That's because we only show you the best plans compared to the worst plans we can think of. We control every decision you make by manipulating your perception of the options. CEO: We need to fix that. Dilbert: How do you fix something that isn't broken?