Job Comic Strips - Page 57

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

936 Results for Job

View 561 - 570 results for job comic strips. Discover the best "Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nose job, health insurance, surgery, dog nose, veterinarian, lunch time, eat, engineer, function, rationalize, medical, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "I probably shouldn't have gone to a veterinarian for my nose job." Asok says, "But as an engineer, I value function over form, and the airflow is actually quite good." Dilbert says, "You might be rationalizing a little." Asok says, "I pity you with your inefficient nostrils."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nose job, snout, dog nose, health insurance, surgery, veterinarian, career, match looks, engineer, shake hands, art department, medical, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Our policy is to put people in careers that match their looks." Asok says, "I thought that was a coincidence." The Boss says, "Your botched nose job makes you too unconventional to be an engineer." Asok says, "No!" Woman says, "Welcome to the art department." Man says, "Man, I wish I was brave enough to get a snout."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nose job, question, art department, veterinarian, dog nose, snout, artistic statement, hot, airflow, sit in chairs

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok in the art department Woman says, "Is that a botched nose job, which would be tragic?" Woman says, "Or a bold artistic statement, which would be totally hot?" Asok says, "It started out as a mistake, but I'm keeping it for the improved airflow. How hot is that?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nose job, homeopathy, art department, annoyed, irrational, hurt feelings, scorpios, horoscope, astrologer, mean, insult, snout, dog nose

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok in the art department Man says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your botched nose job." Asok says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your irrational belief in things that have no scientific basis." Man says, "You sort of hurt my feelings there." Asok says, "Didn't your astrologer warn you about Scorpios?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, presentation, fall asleep, dream, animal snout, nose job, reality, tease, mouth open, scared, wiggle fingers, annoyed, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "I must have fallen asleep during your presentation. I dreamed I had an animal snout for a nose. It seemed so real." Dilbert says, "If you can't tell your dreams from your reality, maybe this is your dream and you really do have a snout." Dilbert says, "Does anything seem strange or out of place in this reality?" Wally says, "Can we please do some work?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags write press releases, investors, sitting on coal, diamonds, annoyed, angry, too much description, clenching, eyes closed, mouth open

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss says, "Tina, I'm lending you to our executive offices to help writes press releases." Boss says, "Your job will be to tell investors we're sitting on coal and trying to make diamonds." Boss says, "By clenching." Tina says, "I got it!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tech support, sit down, talk, stool, computer, headset, technical problems, trick, hurt, pessimism, angry, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "It's not right to use your tech support job to trick people into hurting themselves." Dogbert says, "I help people take their minds off of hopeless technical problems." Dilbert says, "How do you know a problem is hopeless?" Dogbert says, "Great. So now pessimism is a crime?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tiger team, boring job, sarcastic, yell, mouth open, tiger costumes, moving junk

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Carol, form a tiger team to move the junk from the small conference room." Carol says, "I'm glad you call it a tiger team so I don't feel sad that my job involves relocating junk." Carol says, "Could I be less happy right now?!!" The Boss says, "I ordered tiger costumes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job interview, master plan, identity theft, look-alikes

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "If I hire you, you'll get minimum wage to attend meetings and pretend you're me." Wally says, "My plan is to get hired for several jobs and replace myself with low-paid look-alikes in each one." Man says, "My plan is to bury you in a shallow grave and assume your identity." Wally says, "You don't interview well."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customer support, customer service, rodent, talk on phone, creepy personal questions, waste of time, refund

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert's customer support Ratbert says, "You're speaking to a powerless rodent." Ratbert says, "My job is to prevent you from getting to anyone who is authorized to give refunds." Ratbert says, "I'd like to begin by asking you some creepy personal questions."