Office Politics Comic Strips - Page 57
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1000 Results for Office Politics
View 561 - 570 results for office politics comic strips. Discover the best "Office Politics" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 26,
2015
Tags deadlines, deadline, management, time management, projects, distraction, multitasking
Transcript
Boss: When do you think you can get that done for me? Dilbert: Depends. If I had no interruptions, I could finish in four hours. But we have to factor in the inefficiency of your management. For example, you're likely to give me six new projects before I get started on this one. And you force me to work in ta noisy office surrounded by all the people I need to avoid to get work done. Given all of that, I'd say it will take seven months. Boss: I'll give you three months because I'm a leader. Dilbert: Oookay. And... how much of the three months will involve you standing there?
Saturday May 16,
2015
Boss Gets Standing Desk
Monday August 24,
2015
Robots Read News Of Supreme Court Ruling
Tags supreme court, partisan politics, engineers, morals, legislation, conservatism, liberal, guilt, innocence
Transcript
Robots Read News. Robot: The Supreme Court ruled that engineers cannot be found guilty of murder. Lawyers argued that any good engineer knows how to get away with murder, so getting caught is proof of innocence. The ruling was unanimous because no one could figure out which side was the liberal one.
Saturday September 19,
2015
Haircut Illuminati
Tags secret society, organizations, illuminati, hair, hairstyles, haircut, barber, Politics, politicians, success
Transcript
Dogbert: I became a member of the Hairdresser Illuminati. Dilbert: The what? Dogbert: It's a shadowy organization that controls the world by manipulating the hairstyles of political candidates. Boss: What is my barber doing here? Dogbert: That haircut will never become your next president.
Monday September 21,
2015
Hairdresser Illuminati
Tags hair, haircut, hairstyles, success, Politics, candidates, secret organization, secret society, control
Transcript
The Hairdresser Illuminati. Dogbert: Before we start, I'll need to see a list of your political views. Hoo-boy, this is some crazy stuff. I have just the right hairstyle for this. There. That should keep you out of The White House.
Monday October 19,
2015
The Danger Of Sitting
Tags work, office, sitting, chair, health, working, sedentary, danger
Transcript
Boss: Why aren't you working in your cubicle? Wally: Sitting increases my risk of obesity, cardiometabolic disease, cancer, stress, depression, and cognitive dysfunction. Boss: I had no idea sitting was so dangerous. Wally: I know. Imagine if I tried working.
Saturday October 24,
2015
New Office Layout Will Improve Efficiency
Tags layout, office, desk, work environment, efficiency, catch-22, loophole, laziness, excuse
Transcript
Wally: Do you really believe that your plan to change the office layout will boost efficiency? Boss: Of course it will. The physical environment makes a huge difference. Wally: Good. I missed all of my deadlines because of our current office layout is bad.
Monday October 26,
2015
Employees Keep Agreeing
Tags furniture, office, arrangement, laziness, loophole, efficiency, management, work ethic, excuse
Transcript
Boss: I told the employees about our plan to boost productivity by changing the floor layout. Now they claim they can't get their work done because the current floor plan is inefficient. Hoe do I get them to stop agreeing with me? CEO: What do you usually do?
Sunday November 15,
2015
Tags management, strategy, productivity, humane, inhumane, treatment, surveillance, watching, privacy, work, office workers
Transcript
Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.
Tuesday November 17,
2015
Give Up On Making Them Happy
Tags happiness, deception, perspective, work, office, marriage, psychology, relationships
Transcript
Boss: I'm giving up on trying to keep them happy. My new plan is to tell them things are worse everywhere else. Catbert: Will that work? Boss: It worked on my wife.


