Same Questions Comic Strips - Page 57

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588 Results for Same Questions

View 561 - 570 results for same questions comic strips. Discover the best "Same Questions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Designs Headphones

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Dogbert Designs Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design, #business, #headphones, #maximum, #customer, #annoyance, #charging, #port, #guess, #incorrect, #frustration, #fit, #customers, #ship, #user

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dogbert: i've designed these over-ear headphones for maximum customer annoyance. the charging port is only on one side, so the user has a fifty percent chance of guessing wrong. and the charger only fits if you put it right-side up. to increase the frustration, i made the plug look the same on both sides. best of all, the plug is so poorly designed that half the time it doesn't seem to fit, even when you put it in correctly. i made the headphones black, so you can't easily find the charger hole in low light. ninety percent of users will be cursing us every time they try to recharge. customers won't know any of this until after they purchase. boss: ship it.

Version 2 Kills

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Version 2 Kills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #upgrade, #software, #technology, #version, #health, #issue, #nonsense

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wally with face mask giving presentation: according to our newest data, 100% of the people who upgraded to version 2.0 of our software died the same day. wally to boss: but we don't think it means anything because all of them had underlying health issues. boss: how did they all have underlying health issues? wally: version 1.0 had some rough edges too.

Asok Meditates

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Asok Meditates  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee, #psychology, #sarcasm, #business, #meditation, #think, #work, #co-worker, #technology, #enlightenment

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asok: have you ever tried meditating? wally: sounds like a lot of work. asok: it is the opposite of work. all you have to do is sit in one place and think of nothing in particular. wally: can i drink coffee at the same time. asok: that is not recommended. wally: in other words, meditating is what i already do, but without the advantage of coffee? asok: perhaps you have already achieved enlightenment. wally: feels that way to me.

No Lunch With You

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No Lunch With You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #diseases, #lunch, #office workers, #rejection, #virus, #pandemic, #invitation, #social distancing

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Dilbert: Would you like to join me for lunch? Woman: I don't even want to be in the same zip code as your diseased mouth. No offense. Dilbert: None taken.

Why Use Tests

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Why Use Tests - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #diseases, #health & safety, #medical, #office workers, #sarcasm, #pandemic, #virus, #diagnose

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Dilbert: No face mask? Boss: I have antibodies for the virus. I'm pretty sure I had the virus last January when I had a throat tickle. Dilbert: I wonder why virus test kits exist when we can just ask people if they had it. Boss: I was wondering the same.

Believing Experts

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Believing Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #debates, #Opinion, #expert, #facts, #current events, #Politics

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Man: Haha! You idiot! How dare you dis-agree with the foremost experts in this field! Dilbert: Here's a breaking story about those same experts being arrested today for falsifying data. In a sane world, this information would serve to modify your strong opinion. Man: That's not how any of this works.

Manage With Data

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Manage With Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analysis, #business, #data, #face maks, #leadership, #manage, #managers & supervisors, #paralysis, #technology, #useable

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boss wearing face mask: we need to manage with data! dilbert wearing face mask: do we have any useful data? boss: not really. dilbert: so...actually we need to get data before we can use data. boss: we don't have time for your analysis paralysis! dilbert: i think you're taking both sides of the same argument. you insist on using data, but you don't want to wait for data. boss: it's called leadership. you wouldn't understand. dilbert: oh, i think i do. boss: stop being such a mask hole.

Dilbert Can Answer Questons

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 Dilbert Can Answer Questons  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #answer, #business, #delegate, #face mask, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #project, #question, #sarcasm, #awkward

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boss: dilbert can answer any of your questions, but i have another meeting. dilbert: not really. i have no involvement in the project. he just told me to follow him to this room. co-worker: well, this is awkward. dilbert: how about i go to the restroom and never come back?

Any Questions

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 Any Questions  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #company, #conclusion, #end, #face masks, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #question, #vision

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boss: okay, that's all for today unless anyone has a question. alice, boss & dilbert thinking: please let it end. please let it end. please let it end. co-worker: what's the company vision? unison: GAAA!!!

Wally Must Say Something

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Wally Must Say Something   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #meeting, #attention, #confused, #face mask, #follow-up, #questions, #project, #employee, #engagement, #business

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wally thinking: i need to say something to show i'm paying attention. wally: i'm concerned that the project could reduce employee engagement. boss: what does that even mean? wally thinking: i wasn't expecting follow-up questions.