Service Business Comic Strips - Page 57
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1000 Results for Service Business
View 561 - 570 results for service business comic strips. Discover the best "Service Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 25,
2008
Tags creature, employee, licks face, meeting, strategic alliance, tongue, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "We could only find one company in the galaxy willing to form a strategic alliance with us." The Boss says, "Admiral B'Tang-B'tang is here to describe how we can help each other." foop! The Boss says, "Stop saying 'foop', Ted."
Monday April 28,
2008
Tags planned merger, fast food chain, employees, source of protein, perfect situation, business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I recommend we cancel our planned merger." Dilbert says, "They plan to open a chain of fast food restaurants using our employees as a source of protein." The Boss says, "If we always waited for the perfect situation, we'd never get anything done."
Tuesday April 29,
2008
Tags improbable solution, work problem, one million, business model
Transcript
Dilbert: I need an improbable solution to a work problem.Deus ex machina services. Dogbert says, "Sure. I charge one million dollars for each improbable solution." Dilbert says, "Okay, then I also need an improbable way to get things from you for free." Dogbert says, "Stop breaking my business model."
Sunday May 25,
2008
Tags engineers, hauled away, human resources, questioning mental stability, sealed in concrete, wrapped in plastic, bodies hidden, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Go to human resources for a psychological evaluation." Dilbert says, "Why??? Have I said anything that is abnormal?" The Boss says, "You're an engineer. Everything you say is abnormal." Catbert says, "Question one: How many bodies are hidden in the crawl space under your house?" Dilbert says, "If they are hidden, how would I know?" Catbert says, "Well, maybe you would smell them." Dilbert says, "Not if they were wrapped in heavy plastic and sealed in concrete." Wally says, "How'd it go?" Dilbert says, "Not so good."
Thursday May 29,
2008
Tags evil director, human resources, evaluate job applicants, unqualified loser, nailing it, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: "I like to use role play to evaluate job applicants." Pretend you're an unqualified loser. Wow. You're totally nailing it."
Thursday June 19,
2008
Tags rumor control, paid per rumor, terrorit training campo, exotic dancer, weekends
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I'm from the Dogbert Rumor Control Service." Dogbert says, "People are saying Ted is an exotic male dancer on weekends. I know it isn't true because he spends all of his free time in a terrorist training camp." Alice says, "Isn't that worse?" Dogbert says, "I get paid per rumor. It's not a perfect system."
Wednesday July 09,
2008
Tags dead squirrel, insulting, knitting sweater, makeup, meeting, no potential benefit, time management, time management expert, woman as example, hideous outfit, business
Transcript
Dogbert the Time Management Expert Dogbert says, "Never put time into an activity that has no potential benefit." Dogbert says, "For example, why bother putting on makeup if you're going to wear that hideous outfit?" Dogbert says, "That's like knitting a sweater for a dead squirrel."
Saturday July 12,
2008
Tags masters degree, business, promoted to management, less useful, 3 years, night classes, rock
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I'm thinking about getting a master's degree in business so I can get promoted to management." Dogbert says, "How long does it take to learn how to be less useful?" Dilbert says, "Three years of night classes." Dogbert says, "Hold still and I'll save you three years."
Monday August 04,
2008
Tags health problems, absenteeism, raise, avoid exercise
Transcript
Wally says, "Health problems and absenteeism are a huge cost to this business." The Boss says, "So?" Wally says, "So give me a raise, or I'll eat unhealthy food and avoid all forms of exercise." The Boss says, "You already do those things." Wally says, "How could you possibly know that?"
Friday August 22,
2008
Tags power point slide, white space, one page, one bullet point, long one, meeting, presentation, business
Transcript
Wally says, "As requested, I fit my presentation on one PowerPoint slide." Wally says, "I had to use all of the white space, but I think it was worth it to fit everything on one page." Wally says, "It's actually only one bullet point, but it's a long one."


