Wally Comic Strips - Page 57
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1000 Results for Wally
View 561 - 570 results for Wally comic strips. Discover the best "Wally" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday January 25,
2015
Tags alienation, deception, strategy, toxic, toxic relationship, work ethic, useless, ambitous, meetings, incomplete information, anxious, hateful
Transcript
Wally: I'm already useless, but I'm thinking about becoming toxic as well. Dilbert: That seems ambitious for you. Wally: Think it through. As a useless person, I still get invited to meetings because I don't cause much trouble. But if I go full-toxic, no one will invite me to meetings in the first place. I can avoid a lot of work by nipping it in the bud. Dilbert: Is it hard to be toxic? How do you do it? Wally: It's easy. All you do is provide incomplete information that makes people anxious and hateful. I can't tell you what was said in that last meeting, but I defended you.
Friday January 23,
2015
13 Percent Employees Engaged
Tags employee, employees, engagement, motivation, global survey, engaged at work, business
Transcript
Boss: A global survey says only 13% of employees feel engaged at work. Dilbert: If you're wondering which one of your employees is engaged, it's this guy. Boss: We need ten more just like him. Dilbert: I think I just figured out what's wrong with the rest of us.
Thursday January 22,
2015
Selfie Camera
Tags frustration, inventions, priorities, selfie, social media, selfie camera, car steering wheels, ion powered car, share, slefies, facebook, technology
Transcript
Wally: I heard you invented a selfie camera for car steering wheels. Dilbert: Not exactly. I invented an ion-powered flying car, but all anyone cares about is the selfie camera in the steering wheel. Wally: Can you share the selfies on Facebook? Dilbert: Gaaa!
Thursday January 15,
2015
Boss Uses Hickory Wand
Tags harry potter, magic, wand, wizard, leadership, hickory branch
Transcript
Boss: I keep saying leader-ish things, but the employees are still terrible. Catbert: Try using this hickory branch as a wand. Boss: Qualitos improvimentus! Wally: I'll be on the Harry Potter.
Wednesday January 14,
2015
Get Off Wally's Back!
Sunday January 11,
2015
Tags coaching, deception, laziness, mentor, mentoring, strategy, work ethic, taper, key to winning, new job, long hours, good first impression, taker off, working smarter
Transcript
Wally: Asok, the key to winning at your job is the taper. Asok: Taper? Wally: At the start of any new job, you want to put in long hours and create a good first impression. Then you should start to gradually taper off your effort. But be sure you taper slowly. You don't want to be obvious. Boss: Wally, is it my imagination, or are you working slightly less every day? Wally: It only looks that way because I'm working smarter, not harder. Just the way you taught me. Boss: Okay, that sounds right. Wally: Always keep that round in the chamber. Asok: You scare me, but in a good way.
Saturday January 03,
2015
Single Dilbert Is Valuable
Tags competition, dating, low standards, Men, market value, single guy, low bar, tall, employed, height, relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm starting to realize that my market value as a single guy is higher than I thought. Men such as you have set the bar so low that all I need to do is have a job and be taller than most women in heels. I thought they were turned on by my tube clothing, but they actually like me for me. Wally: You're welcome.
Wednesday December 17,
2014
Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning
Tags deception, hallucinations, strategic planners, future, pretend, different happens, visualize, game, work, planning
Transcript
Wally: I'm thinking of getting into the strategic planning game. If I understand the job description, you basically hallucinate about the future and then something different happens. Dilbert: You also have to pretend it's useful. Wally: Really? That sounds hard.
Sunday December 14,
2014
Tags frustration, hard work, respect, reward for work, pretending to work, incremental benefit, realxing, harder path, loser, respect hard work
Transcript
Wally: What's it like to work hard? I'm curious because the reward for hard work seems to be identical to the reward for pretending to work. It seems as if it would be demotivating to work so hard for no incremental benefit. If I had to pick one word to describe my day, it would be "relaxing." But you took the harder path, and for that, you have my respect. Alice: I don't want the respect of a loser! BAM! Wally: If it makes you feel any better, I don't actually respect hard work.
Friday December 12,
2014
Wally's Analysis Is No Longer Needed
Tags work ethic, analysis, work, gibberish, separate issue, secretary, offcie, cubicle, science
Transcript
Wally: Here's the analysis you asked me to do. Coworker: Oops. I forgot to tell you, I don't need this anymore. Wally: What? I did all of that work for nothing? Coworker: Wait... this is nothing but... gibberish. Wally: That is a separate issue.


