Bad Karma Comic Strips - Page 57
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681 Results for Bad Karma
View 561 - 570 results for bad karma comic strips. Discover the best "Bad Karma" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 24,
2015
Everyone Can Beat The Market Average
Tags Advice, bad advice, investing, investor, stock market, stock reserch, money
Transcript
Boss: Asok, you can beat market averages by doing your own stock research. Asok: So... you believe every investor can beat the average by reading the same information? Boss: Yes. Asok: Makes you wonder why more people don't do it. Boss: Just lazy, I guess.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday February 27,
2015
Selling Bad Software Is Like Crime
Tags big business, business, criminals, user interface, software, lower tax rate, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: Our tests show that people can't figure out how to use our software. And yet we still sell it. How are we different from criminals? Boss: Our tax rate is lower.
Friday March 13,
2015
Wally Is Ceo's Pet
Tags bad influence, mentoring, mentor, protege, laziness, work ethic, changes
Transcript
Alice: How's it feel to be the CEO's pet employee? Wally: We call it mentoring. Alice: Has it changed you? Wally: No, but he seems more useless lately. Alice: I guess there's no backflow preventer on mentoring.
Sunday April 19,
2015
Tags deciding, lunch, choosing, technology, options, yelp, frustration
Transcript
How To Eat Lunch. Dilbert: Lunch? Alice: Sure. Where do you want to go? Dilbert: Well, let's see... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... Alice: You're slow. Let me check! Dilbert: No... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... Alice: No... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... Dilbert: No... no... no... no... no... no... Alice: How about this... No, bad review. Dilbert: How about this... No, they have no tables. [45 Minutes Later] Alice: Show me food! Dilbert: Food! Food! Food! Boss: Time to make some billion-dollar decisions. Dilbert: I'm going feral!
Thursday April 30,
2015
Try Leaning In
Tuesday May 05,
2015
What Would You Do In A Perfect World
Tags ideas, bad ideas, thinking, scenario, management
Transcript
Boss: In a perfect world, how would you fix the problem? Dilbert: In a perfect world you would not exist, so I would do smart things instead of whatever you tell me to do next. So... what should I do next? Boss: Let's pie-chart this thing.
Friday May 15,
2015
Alice Uses Social Media
Tags social media, twitter, careers, competition, deception, trick, flame, internet, technology
Transcript
Alice: Well, Ted, it looks like you and I are competing for the same promotion. My plan is to use social media to make you look bad. Catbert: I fired Ted for trash-talking you on Twitter. Alice: I don't have a social media account and it still works!
Sunday July 12,
2015
Tags executives, truth, honesty, protection, protected, shelter
Transcript
Alice: May I speak frankly? Dilbert: Uh-oh. CEO: Of course! A good CEO listens to his underlings. [He soon realized this was a bad idea. Alice's honesty felt like fire ants on his skin. Bystanders scattered. The CEO had not heard the truth in years. It burned like a thousand suns.] Catbert: Whoa! Someone got truthed.
Tuesday July 07,
2015
Whistleblower Laws
Tags law, legal issues, lawyer, on the lam, whistleblower, technicality, loophole, legal
Transcript
Wally: I thought you were on the run from killing government agents. Dilbert: I only killed the bad ones. My lawyer says that's legal now under the whistleblower laws. [Earlier That Day] Dogbert: It was a tad aggressive, but I think you're fine.
Monday July 13,
2015
Buy One Elbonian
Tags slave, slaves, slavery, owner, obliviousness, nuance, help, maid, maids, servant, servants, semantics
Transcript
Alice: I hear you're a slave owner now. CEO: That is unfair. I buy a few Elbonians on the Internet and suddenly I'm the "slave owner" guy. Alice: You are literally an owner of slaves. CEO: I prefer to think of them as bad negotiators.